Chapter 43

Gary's POV

Mark remains on his knees with my hand still clenched between his. Gently his thumb traces my knuckles, as he looks me deep in the eyes. Even though he isn't speaking a word, his pleading desperate eyes are enough to pull on my heart strings. "Mark..."
"I love you, Gary. I really do love-"
"I...I know..." Sliding my hand away from his, i bow my head in shame. "I know you do. And deep down... deep down... past my shattered heart... i love you too... but-"
"But? But, what? Come on, Gaz. This can work... we can work... just give me a second chance and i'll fix everything which is broken."
"Its not that simple...is it? I wish it was... i wish that everytime we speak to one another its not just another chance for you to beg for me to take you back... i want to talk about our family, Mark... our little girl... she's far more important than our relationship." Turning my back to him, my hand nervously rakes through my own hair.

Mark now stands to his feet, trailing towards me. "I know that Gary... but don't you want our little girl to be born into a strong, happy, loving family?"
"Whether we'll be in a relationship or not, we can still make our family like that."
"But maybe it will seem too fake? You've told me you love me... why are you so scared to admit it? Its just the three of us now."
"And your Son, Mark. You need to be a father to your Son... its not fair that he's being pushed away by a mistake..." Even by saying the words, i still feel the sickness spin in my stomach by the thought of Mark cheating on me.
"Believe me, Gary. I know that...and we can work something out... you're coming to Robbie's tomorrow night, right?" Nodding my head in response to his question, i fill my glass with water from the tap. "Well... how about we have a chat later on in the evening when you come round? Just me and you...maybe we can come to some sort of agreement? Just so we can live a peaceful life... i don't want to make you feel sick everytime you talk to me, Gary. I just want us and our family and whilst I'm alive on this earth, i want to make that happen... what do you say?"

Absorbing his words, my hands fix onto either side of the sink whilst my back remains turned to him. "Right...fine... then that's it... once we've had this talk... i just want to concentrate on getting things ready for when Hannah's born...she's my mine prority at the moment..."
"Mine also..." Delicately he places a hand onto my back, which manages to take me back to the old times. The old times where we use to stand in this very kitchen, where Mark would approach me from behind probably knocking me off guard and he would end up being suffocated by my hugs. Those were the days. "See you tomorrow... around 6 ish?"
"Yeah... see you then..." Spinning around on my heels, i force out a warm smile.
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Mark's POV

Pacing up and down the living room, a deflated purple balloon rests on my lips and in between my fingers. "Mark?" Faintly a voice speaks, but is blocked out by my thoughts and constant anxious pacing. "Mark?!" A slap on my shoulder is enough to blow my pupils, causing me to drop the balloon to the floor.
"Eh, what?"
Yasmin stands in front of me, still with her hand rested on me. "He'll be here Hun." She looks at me with a subtle smile on her face. "Stop worrying and blow that balloon up."
"S...Sorry..." Timidly i smile back, whilst reaching for the balloon again in attempt for the fifteenth time to blow it up. "Where's Rob?" Blowing air into the piece of rubber, my eyes continue to stare out of the living room window in hope of seeing Gary walking up the path anytime soon.
"He's on his way now with his Mum and Eleanor. What time did Gary say he was coming?"
"Six o'clock." Instantaneously i answer. "Do you think this outfit is OK? Not too... cheap?"
Laughing to herself whilst applying her ruby red coloured lipstick, she watches my actions through the fire place mirror.
"Mark, you look absolutely fine. Its just a few drinks and some food, nothing major, even if it is Robbie's Birthday. I'm sure Gary will agree with me."
"Y...You think so? Maybe i could change this shirt at least, i mean a white shirt around Gary's red wine is just an accident waiting to happen." Walking towards the living door, i don't even get chance to wrap my fingers around the brass door knob to open it, as a knock echoes through the hallway.

"Speak of the devil." Yasmin giggles, whilst adjusting her white knee length dress. Even though she's just over 5 months pregnant, her figure is just stunning, she's always had a body of a model in my opinion. "Well...let him in then, don't be catching flies now." Nodding my head, i walk into the hallway, giving myself a quick once over in the mirror.
"It'll do." I mumble to myself, before unlocking the front door. "Hiya Ga-" As soon as my eyes latch onto the face standing in front of me, my excitement is soon pulled away from me. "Oh...hello Jonny." Trying to not look too disappointed, i manage to pull off a cheerful looking grin.
"Expecting someone else?" He wraps his free arm around my back, giving it a gentle pat. Returning the half hug, i stand aside allowing his entry.
"Nah, not really mate. Come in...we're just blowing up some balloons before Rob arrives...here..." Handing him over my partly blown up balloon, i close the door behind him. Guiding Jonny into the living room, i bring him over a glass of wine from the table, which is full of plated snacks.
"Cheers, pal." He rests the glass in between his legs, whilst his lips wrap around the end of the balloon.
"'ere... I'm just nipping upstairs to change... Yaz is just in the kitchen getting the rest of the food out of the oven, if you need anything give me a call." On that note, i leave Jonny alone on the sofa, whilst i go skipping off upstairs to the bedroom.

Diving into my wardrobe, frantically i search through my neatly ironed shirts which are hung on clothing hangers. "Nope, nah ah...what on earth was i thinking about when buying that monstrosity?!" Mumbling to myself, already i feel as if I'm letting Gary down. If i can't even dress smartly enough for him, what hope do i have of winning him back? The sound of the some guests arriving, catches my attention whilst i hold some shirts up against my chest in the wardrobe mirror. Robbie's friends haven't always been my cup of tea, most of them are just too loud and over the top for my liking, which pretty much says Robbie all over, but apart from Jonny, he's a good man.

After trying on several shirts, i finally settle on pastel pink shirt which has a few buttons undone, enough to show off my chest. Spraying a petite amount of after shave around my neck, i decide that I'm finally presentable. Running my hand down the banister, happily i jump down each one of the steps, before arriving back into the living room where music has started to play from. Without even bothering to look at who has arrived for the party, immediately i fill my glass with some lemonade from the table to quench my thirst. Guzzling down the fizzy liquid, i smack my lips together, allowing it to run down my dry feeling throat. For a brief moment i close my eyes, rocking myself in time with the music, as my finger taps against my glass in time with the beat. Once my quiet moment alone has ended, very slowly i pry open one of my eyes. At first i feel as if I'm still in my day dreaming mode, until i rapidly blink my eyes. Standing at the far end of the room is a middle aged man, with a wine glass perched in between his fingers. Am i seeing things, or is that Gary?! Since when did he arrive? OK, maybe i did spend too much time upstairs changing my outfit than what i thought. Clearing my throat, my hand nervously rakes through my fringe. Tightening my grip on my glass, i decide to stroll over into Gary's direction. I've waited all day for this moment, I'm not going to back out and avoid him all night due to my nerves. "Mark..." Faintly a voice speaks, enough to knock me out of my dream world. Abruptly i shake my head, lifting my view to catch eye contact with the figure. Softening his smile, Gary looks down at me.

"Oh...h...hiya...Gaz..." Shyly i smile. "Didn't see you there."
"Haven't been here all that long. Jonny said you went upstairs to get re dressed or something?" Confusion fills Gary's face whilst he looks me up and down.
"Oh...yeah...that..." Biting my lip nervously. "I wasn't happy with the outfit i was wearing...that's all."
"You look fine to me." Promptly by Gary's compliment i feel my cheeks begin to burn, as my words come out in stutters.
"Er...t...thanks...erh...so...h...how are you?" Clearing my throat, guiding him over to the empty sofa, we both decide to sit down together.
"Yeah, I'm good. The days are getting easier as i take them." Stopping his own sentence, he drowns his lips into his wine glass, as he takes a long gulp of the liquid. "...How are you?"
For a split second, my mind goes fuzzy. Just by staring at Gary causes me to act like a fool and ignore his question. "Huh? S...Sorry...what did you say?"
Gary smirks quietly. "On your own planet again, Mr Owen...? I asked how are you doing?"
"Could say that..." Fiddling with my trousers, i try and avoid eye contact with him the best i can, just until my nerves decide to calm down. "I...I'm doing OK... brush off the rough days and smile to make a good day."
"Good motto..." Gary leans forward towards the still closed front door. "Any idea how long Rob will be until he gets here?"
"I think he's due back around seven thirty, but he set off before you came, so he wont be too long. Any reason why?"
Without saying a word, Gary strides across the sitting area and with one push of the door opposite us, it creaks before closing. "That's better."
Hutching myself up on the sofa, making room again for Gary i stare at the male with a puzzled look on my face. "Er...Is...Is everything, OK?"
"You wanted to talk, right? Just the two of us?"
"B...But i thought we were going to wait until the party was less chaotic...i mean, Rob hasn't even arrived yet there's no chance its going to die down anytime soon."

A more serious look forms on Gary's face, as he sits on the edge of the sofa. "I'd rather get what we both want to say out of the way so we can clear the air. This is the last time i want to discuss any of this." His voice turns into a much more sour sounding tone, which increases my nerves even more.
"S...sure...me too." Biting the tip of my tongue, i lie.
"So... what do you want to say? But this time without the puppy dog eyes and the begging... i don't think i can handle anymore of that." It feels as if the carpet as been pulled beneath my feet. With the last remaining part of hope i had of winning Gary back, I've now fallen flat on my face. "I love you... i really...really do love you."
"You were my life, Mark..." Miserably he lowers his gaze. "You were my everything..."
"No, please... don't... i still can be." Uncontrollably i already feel the tears spring to my eyes.
"Over the past year or so... we've made history, beautiful history and I'm thankful we'll always have the memories we've shared together to look back on." Its written all over Gary's face that he's refusing to let our relationship officially come to an end. "You even saved my life... on numerous occasions, but the main one was when i was trapped in the fire and ended up in a coma for a week. That's when i started to believe that you wasn't only my soul mate or best friend, but also my guardian angel... as silly as that sounds." Soundlessly, Gary laughs to himself.

Tenderly, i place my hand over the top of Gary's which rests on his kneecap. "That isn't silly at all. What a sweet thing to say...I'm always going to be here for you Gary...always...just please...please don't slip away from me. You and Hannah are the two people in my life who makes me happy to be me and to help me face each and every day, don't leave me."
Sitting in silence, our hands remain glued together as my eyes continue to burn at the side of his head. "Life is too short for shit to happen." Words spill out of Gary's mouth after a decade of silence. "Far too short... i should know that with all the shit which I've had in my life time."
"A...And i haven't helped by adding more to it i kn-"
Raising his hand into my direction, he silences me. "Let me finish. After having the band crumble around me the first time around,  i didn't give up...i got back onto the horse. I fought through the verbal shit Robbie threw at me left, right and centre... if I'm still able to fight, then why give up?" Looking lost at the older man, shakily i reopen my mouth again.
"W...What...do you mean?"
"What i mean is... well... what i mean is..." For some reason Gary can't find the right words to finish off his sentence which causes him to become a little frustrated with himself, until finally he blurts it out. "I...I...I can't... I can't let you go..." His confession comes out into a whisper, barely audible.
Stunned by his reply, i refuse to believe my ears. This is exactly what i was hoping to hear, so maybe I'm daydreaming again, its far too good to be true. "Huh...?" Shuffling closer to me, the nerves build in Gary's face, there's even a few sweat droplets above his eyebrows.
"You've brought far too much happiness and love into my life for me to just throw it away. Things have happened, but nothings broken. Together we are a team and together we will work to fix these things as a couple. Even if it means me becoming a step Dad to your Son... I'm willing to accept that if you will be patient with me. You made a mistake and you've paid for it... you shouldn't of suffered as bad as you have, but i flew off the handle when i heard. It should be me apologising to you." Gripping tighter to my hand, i notice that Gary's knuckles have turned white from the amount of force. Not that i care, right now i don't even feel myself. "Sending my own partner into rehab is just disgusting and is unforgivable." Deeply he sighs, whilst pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand. "What do you say...?"
Swallowing hard, my throat tightens preventing any words to budge past my lips. Even my breathing has become abnormal. With one shake of my head, unexpectedly Gary seals the deal with a delicate peck onto my lips, which causes fireworks to violently explode inside my stomach. Is this all a fantasy?! Its feels like a lifetime I've been waiting for this very moment.