Chapter 48

Mark's POV

Taping the keys on the keyboard, shakily I breathe. "This can't be real, this cannot be true." Muttering under my breath, my surroundings are blocked by my terrified thoughts. This is it. Gary is now officially going to hate me, for real this time. Every hope of getting back together has now been crushed. "Why?" Loudly I hiss at the screen, slamming the lid shut. "Stupid! Stupid man, Mark Owen!" My head hits against the lid of the laptop, whilst my hands nervously rake through my hair. Suddenly the feel of something touching my shoulder, causes me to jump out of my skin. "AH!"
"Mark?" Standing now in front of me, is a confused and concerned heavily pregnant woman.
"Now is not the time, Yaz." Sitting onto the edge of the bed, hands press against my forehead, whilst I begin to try and hatch up a plan to solve this.
"Has something happened with Gary? Mark? Speak to me...?" Placing a supportive hand onto my back, emotions wash over me. I'm tied between wanting to bawl my eyes out and wanting to scream at the top of my lungs, but for now I hold them back.
"I've truly fucked up this time, Yaz. For real."
Exhaling a sigh, she pulls me closer. "I'm sure that's not true, Mark. You haven't even been in contact with him, have you?"
"No..." I shake my head. "I was just so desperate to speak to him... it was a stupid idea...something i'm going to regret doing until the day I die now..."
"You know that Gary will speak to you when he's back. He just needs time to start a fresh and clear his head...I'm sure it wasn't that bad...what exactly have you done?"

Pulling away from her embrace, I vaguely stare at the closed laptop resting on the desk in front of my vision. "I needed answers...I'm sick of being left in the dark. He just took off and left me without a say so and leaving me the way he did...telling me all these new things...for what? A joke?"
"Mark!" Snapping at me unexpectedly. "Never would Gary do that for a joke. He's upset, you're upset. You need to understand that its harder for him than it is for you."
"I'm always the one to blame aren't I? The evil one! The one who has ruined Gary's life! But at least Rob understands me! At least he knows what I'm going through and yes I fucking regret sending that email!" Deeply breathing, Yasmin blinks her eyes at me.
"Email?"
Rubbing the palms of my hands against my heavy feeling eyes, I release an exhausted sigh. "Yes. Rob told me to write my feelings down about this whole situation and I got too carried, then I got called down before I could delete it...and somehow...Its been...Its been sent to him..."
"Wait...this was today right?" Nodding my head weakly, words fail to leave my mouth. There's no point in talking anymore, I've said enough. "And this email was addressed to Gary?"
"Yep..." Quietly I whisper.
"Oh...and it was left on that laptop...when you went down to sort out Callum...?"
Lifting my head gradually, a smudge of guilt spreads across Yasmin's face. "N...no...you...you didn't...?"
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{One Week Later...}

"Come on, Bud. Give us a smile for Daddy?" The little boy shakes his head in pure annoyance, as he continues to screech at the top of his lungs. "Milk? Do you want more milk?" Hitting his fists against the toy blocks, his screams become louder almost bursting my ear drums. "What about a slice of apple?" What's the use in talking, its not like I'll get a reply I barely get a grumble ever since Laura dropped him off a few days ago, but then again at 7 months old he's not really going to have a full blown conversation with me, is he? Lining up the blocks which have numerously been tossed across the room in frustration, neatly I place four blocks in front of the little boy's view. "Can you say this word?" Pointing to each block, I smile proudly at my Son. "G- A - R - Y. Can you say that? Ga-ry?" For a second, the crying has stopped, as his eyes focus on the coloured wooden blocks sitting in front of him. Watching my lips, his eyes flick from my mouth back to the small lettering. "Ga. Can you say, Ga?" Opening his mouth, again a vague expression fills his face. At the moment he's too young to say full sentences, but Callum can babble a few words here and there, he's even able to wobble around on his bum, also attempting to stand, but that wont be a for a good few months yet. It saddens me, that I've missed a good chunk of my Son's life, including the birth, not even knowing of his existence until a couple of months ago. Gary is still away and we haven't spoken since Robbie's birthday which was over one week ago now, god knows if he's even going to come back home, but then again with Hannah due soon he has to, right? There still hasn't been any sign whether or not he's read the email which I wrote and Yasmin sent, by accident of course. Out of nowhere a faint noise catches my attention. Pulling my head out of my thoughts, I stare down at a pair of smiling lips.
"G...G...Ga...G...Ga....GaaGaa."
With a wide eyed expression, proudly a grin beams across my face. "That's it! Good boy! Oh gosh...good boy." Lifting the fleshy body into my arms, I plant a wet kiss against the light hair on the centre of the child's head, as I continue to cuddle him. "Good boy..." It hits me, sadly it hits me- that Gary isn't here to hear it himself. My own Son has almost spoken Gary's name and he isn't here to witness it.

Settling Callum back down onto the bean bag, I reach for the remote. "M...Meeeh....nuuuh." He sulks, whilst I flick through the different child programs.
"Oh come on, you love this show." Placing the remote next to me on the floor, I rest on my knees beside the bean bag, just sipping my coffee whilst the programme begins to start. A pink pig jumps onto the screen introducing its family with a loud snort for each one. Peppa Pig is one of Callum's favourites and ever since he arrived here I'm pretty sure I could act out each episode, but today Callum is having none of it. Something is bothering him and I just can't figure out what exactly it is. Searching around the carpet which has scattered toys all over it, finally it springs to mind. "Your dummy? Do you want your dum dum?" Once again the crying stops by my question. "I wont be a sec." Skipping into the kitchen, immediately I glance around for a pacifier. There's got to be one around here somewhere, why do children find it necessary to throw everything in sight? Life would be a lot easier if they didn't. The child's cries increases in volume due to my disappearance. "Its OK, I'm still here! Just getting Mr Dum Dum." I reply, noticing a red pacifier sitting on the very top shelf in the medical cupboard. "Here he is!" Tip toeing whilst my arm stretches up towards the shelf, its no good. I'm too short. A niggling pain enters my head, possibly from the lack of sleep I've had over the past days and of course from Callum's constant crying, babies are good at sensing their parents moods. "I'm coming! I'm coming back!" I call into the room, as my knees rest on top of the work top before pulling my whole body up onto it. Now sitting on the worktop on my knees I grab hold of the pacifier. In my surprise the crying has come to an abrupt stop, soon to be replaced by soft cooing. "Cal? Are you OK?" Nervously I question, as I remain on the worktop. The only sound which now can be heard from the living room, is the finishing titles of Peppa Pig. Thinking of the worst, swiftly I exist the kitchen with the thoughts of pure horror hovering around my head. "CAL-" Once entering the living room, my sentence promptly gets cut off. Unexpectedly a figure stands in front of the window, as the little boy is comfortably rested in the arms of the figure, a man in fact, but not any man. Shuffling closer, I blink my eyes, as I shake my head in disbelief until finally I mutter out the single word. "G...G...Gary?"

Lifting his head into my direction, calmly a faint smile curls at the corners of his mouth. "He just wanted a cuddle...didn't you mate?" The back of Gary's hand delicately strokes against the boy's cheek, as his eyes begin to slowly close from the amount of crying, thankfully he's tired himself out already. Striding forward into Gary's company, I look down at my son, until mine and Gary's eyes meet for a brief moment. Bending down, Gary lays Callum back onto the bean bag, wrapping the thin blanket over the child's legs, before reconnecting his eyes with mine. "You're...You're back." He doesn't breathe a word, which doesn't really say much in answering my question. Hitting my fist against his bicep - not too hard, but enough to shock him. "Don't ever do that again!" I growl, until a smile manages to reach my face, trying to hold back the tears, I fail as they come flooding down my cheeks. He doesn't look mad at me and right now I can't even describe how I feel myself. Wrapping my arms tightly around his waist, my head drops against his chest, until what seems like minutes, Gary silently answers my hug.
"Yeah..." He sighs.