Chapter 45

Mark's POV

The faint sound of my mobile phone buzzing on the floor disturbs me. Reaching my arm from under the duvet, immediately i switch off the alarm without waking Robbie. I've been awake for the past half an hour, just thinking. Thinking mainly about tonight, mine and Gary's dinner together. Robbie's still fast asleep snoring his head off above me in Eleanor's bed. I now wish i chose to sleep on the sofa instead of on the floor once again in Eleanor's room, I'm starting to feel twice my age with the aches in my back. Sliding out from under my duvet, i tip toe into the empty bathroom, closing the door behind me. Switching on the shower, i turn the dial to the correct temperature. It seems that everyone in the house is still asleep, there's a strange feeling in the air and i can't seem to work it out. Once undressed, i step inside the walk in shower, sliding across the glass frosted door, leaving me now alone and back into my own world. The tepid water hits against my skin, just how i like it, nothing beats a shower to wake yourself up or to have some alone time. Thoughts swirl around my head as my fingers rake through my hair. Maybe it is too soon to spend time with Gary, even though he was the one who confessed about wanting to start again, surly he wouldn't agree to just through sympathy? No. I need to stop this, I'll only end up driving him away.

Leaning my back against the white ceramic tiles, my eyes stare down at the water running against my limbs, washing away the foamy soap from my skin. Feeling slightly light headed, my hand clutches to my forehead, whilst the other steadies myself. It wasn't such a good idea getting only two hours sleep last night and it certainly wasn't a good idea not eating anything yesterday. "Mark?" Suddenly a voice calls. "Mark?!" Followed by a knock, the voice seems to be irritated. Flicking the button on the shower causes the water to come to an abrupt holt.
"Yeah?" Inhaling a deep breath, my head pokes out of the shower door, allowing the steam to exit out through the open window.
"C'mon lad. I'm bursting here!"
"Oh...er...sorry. Give me a sec." Wrapping my towel around my waist, i bundle my nightwear together, before hurrying out the door. "Sorry Ro-"
"Forty five bloody minutes i had to hold this!" Robbie hurriedly runs into the bathroom, knocking me out the way slightly as he does. I haven't even noticed i was in there that long, see what over thinking does to me? It over takes my entire brain. Trailing back into the bedroom, carelessly i drop my used clothes into a corner of the room, before slumping down onto the unmade bed. Cupping my face in the palms of my hands, i breathe out a shaky breath. "Come on Mark, get a grip." Tapping my cheek i tilt my head either side of my shoulders. Glancing over towards my mobile, which remains face down on the carpet, an idea springs to mind. My mobile rests in the palm of my hand, clicking open the square blue tab with a white bird, my twitter account opens. Thinking of a message to type to my followers in relation to Valentine's day, something catches my attention.

'29 mins ago - @GaryBarlow : Happy Valentine's Day tweeps !!! Love, care and treasure one anothers love. Life's too short xx' 

Re reading the message over and over again, i can feel my heart melt down into the pit of my stomach. Such a simple message, but still sends a thousands thoughts. Clicking onto the tweet, the first reply says : "Does this mean you and @OfficialMarko are back together??" Their question is as good as mine. Its hard to hold back the grin which is now plastered over my face, towel drying my hair, happily i hum to myself. Even in black and white, Gary can still make me happy, its clear that Gary is the one for me.

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Sautéing the chicken in the pan of olive oil, it isn't long until the smell drives Robbie into the kitchen. "What ya cookin', Markie?" Sniffing the air, his hands rest on my shoulders.
"Coq Au Vin." Smugly i smile, flipping the chicken onto each side, as it turns a light golden brown colour. Robbie leans on the worktop, watching the chicken sizzle in the frying pan.
"Sounds grim... what is this cock something something, anyway?"
"Coq Au Vin, Rob. It's chicken in a burgundy wine sauce." Once the chicken is cooked, i begin dicing the vegetables. Taking hold of a spare knife, he helps by finely chopping up some onion.
"Wine? Are you allo-"
"Don't worry. I'm only having a couple teaspoons on mine. Its better than eating it dry. Its not like I'm going to guzzle the bottle down my neck is it?" Slightly annoyed, i cut into his sentence. Nodding his head, he lowers his protective guard.
"Of course... i didn't mean it like that. I just care about you, that's all."
"And i appreciate it, but tonight I'm trying to impress Gary without putting myself first..." Letting out an inaudible sigh, i bundle the chopped vegetables together, placing them into another frying pan of their own.
"Gary's going to love it...if that's what you're worried about. I know he's hard to please, but he will appreciate all this."
"Its not that... well it is, but i should know that man inside out... there's just a feeling..."
"A feeling? Are you having second thoughts about him?"
"No!" I yelp. "No, not that... well... not me anyway."

Robbie pulls back a chair from the kitchen table, looking intrigued by my reply. "But wasn't Gary the one who wanted to make another go of things? And didn't he agree to have dinner with you tonight." His fist rests under his chin.
"Yeah, i know that...its just... something doesn't feel right... like in my mind there's an alarm which is telling me there's something not right or there's something which will go wrong." Putting the dirty utensils into the filled sink, my teeth grip to my bottom lip. "I'm being silly again...aren't i? I just hope my over thinking doesn't cause things to end before they have even started again."
Robbie breathes a heavy sigh out through his nose with a faint smile spreading across his face.
"You are being silly, but its understandable, I don't blame you. Its clear if not to you, but to people around the pair of you, that you're both madly in love with each other. Still. Gary's still hurting and maybe he will always hurt deep down, but things will get better. The best thing is to talk and tonight will be a good reason to do so... just the two of you. Tell Gary exactly how you are feeling, that way you won't over think when he's not here." Listening carefully to Robbie's words, things become much easier.
"You're right." I surrender. "I need to pull myself together...that way we can move on in life, thanks for talking me round, mate."
"Anytime, Markie. I should listen to my own advice really." Chuckling to himself, gently he pats my back. "I have trust in you though lad. You can do this, its just you, Gary and your beautiful children...that is all that matters in life. If people want to interfere with that, then send them my way." Cheekily he winks.
"Cheers, Rob. I'll bare that in mind."
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Over three hours later and everything is in order. Dinner has been cooked, ready and waiting to be eaten. The DVD player is set up with a box set of Star Wars, waiting to be watched in the living room. Pressing play on the IPod docking station, it begins to sweetly play Your Song by Elton John. Tonight I'm making the effort. From downloading Elton John's albums, to buying box sets of Star Wars, the things i thought i would never do, but knowing that they are Gary's favourites then tonight will be different. Sitting down at the table, two plates of food are neatly placed in front of my view. Glancing over at the wall clock, softly i mumble to myself. "Fashionably late, Mr Barlow." Gary's running thirteen minutes late, but i shouldn't be worried, Gary's usually late for evenings like this, not just with me but even down to friends and interviewers. Firmly pushing the corkscrew into the top of the red wine bottle, with a pop the strength of the wine instantly fills my nostrils. The craving has made an appearance once again, the craving for alcohol. Maybe tonight could be an exception. With a mere debate with myself, i go ahead anyway. Hopefully this way my nerves will be calm enough for when Gary arrives. "Sod it." Tilting the opening of the wine over my glass, i fill it half way with the red liquid. Tapping a quick text message, i drop my head backwards, releasing a sigh of relief "Dinner's served, Sir. Can't wait to see you.. Marko xxx" . Nothing can ruin tonight

Robbie's POV 

Stirring in my sleep, an unclear noise sounds downstairs strangely catches my attention. Turning over in the child's bed, my eyes latch onto the alarm clock beside me. 7:35 am. Rubbing my heavy feeling eye lids with the palms of my hands, i discover that the make do bed hasn't been slept in. "What's he doing up so early?" Mumbling to myself, as i sling my legs over the bed i pull on a t-shirt ready to go and investigate. Creeping down the stairs, the sound soon becomes clear, that in fact its actually music playing. Elton John? Since when does Mark listen to Elton John at almost 8 in the morning? I question myself. Poking my head around the door which is ajar, a figure sits with its head down on the table, still smartly dressed. "Mark?" A wine glass is clenched in his hand, as quiet snores leave his parted lips. Plates full of food, which have been untouched remain on the table. "Mark? Mate, wake up?" Nudging his back delicately, a murmur leaves his mouth.
"Uh...?"
Skipping over towards the Ipod dock, i unplug the station. "What happened?" Within seconds it soon becomes clear. Gary never turned up. Or maybe, he just didn't like the food after all? My eyes are drawn to the red envelope sitting opposite Mark on the table, with five letters carefully scribble across it. 'Gary... x'. Just by thinking about Mark's upset and heartache due to Gary not showing, manages to boil my blood. How could he do such a thing? Hasn't Mark suffered enough from his actions already? Shaking my head, i wrap an arm around Mark's waist, helping the weak man to his feet. "I'm taking you to bed... you need a lie down...in a bed this time."
"Thank you..." Sleepily he whispers. He's acting too calm about all this, maybe he doesn't know? Maybe he fell asleep whilst waiting for Gary?

Walking back up the stairs, with one arm wrapped around Mark and the other on the stair railing to support us, we begin to make our way back towards the bedroom. "Just wait until i get my hands on that man." I whisper under a deep breath.
"Rob? Is that you?"
Looking up at the top of the stairs, there standing above me is Yasmin. A worried look is plastered across her face, as she tightly holds the tie on her dressing gown.
"Is everything, OK?" After carrying Mark's body to the top of the stairs, we enter the bedroom where i carefully rest the male. Yasmin watches from the door frame, with her phone clutched in her hand.
"How is he?" She breathes, as the door closes behind me.
"Surprisingly, fine. Better than what Gary's going to feel like when i get hold of him. Can you believe what he's done? Not turning up after all that work and effort Mark put in to please him? What an absolute arsehole." Grinding my jaw, my eyes glare at an old photograph of the five of us sitting on a self.
Looking incredibly guilty, Yasmin bows her head. "He...He texted me."
"Who? Gary?" Only a nod answers my question. "What did he say then? All this bull about him being sorry, about him being trapped in never ending traffic?!" Raising my voice, Yasmin hands me her phone. Swiftly my eyes scan the open text message on her mobile screen.

"Hiya Yaz, Its Gary. I'm just letting you know I'm on my way to Heathrow now. I'm going a way for a few days, just to clear my head and I'll be back fresher than ever. If there's any problems please give me a call, mainly to do with your health or the baby's. Send my love and see you soon. P.s Sorry for only telling you now at short notice.  Gaz xx" 

"Wait..." Focusing my eyes on the text a little clearer. "This was from last night? Yasmin, why didn't you say anything?! You let Mark do all that for fuck all, knowing full well Gary wasn't going to show?!"
"Believe me, Rob. It wasn't easy to sleep on."
"Oh poor you! Poor fucking you!" Loudly i hiss, handing back her phone. "Do you like seeing Mark suffer just to please your mate, ay?"
Backing away from me slightly, Yasmin's face saddens. "Of course i don't. Mark's my friend also, i just didn't think!"
"Clearly. You never seem to think do you?"
"Keep your voice down." Angrily, Yasmin mumbles.
"Gary's single now, you're single. Oh what a coincidence? Try and wreck what Mark and Gary have so you can hop back into Gary's bed again?!" Suddenly i feel a burning sensation on my cheek, followed by the sound of flesh on flesh filling the room. Gripping to my cheek, a voice speaks behind me.
"W...What's...going on...?" Still holding my face, turning on my heels, both of our eyes stare down at the half awake man, standing at the bedroom door.
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Mark's POV

"I knew it! I fucking knew something was going to go wrong!" Pacing up and down the living room, i continue to curse. "Every time i try and do the right thing, i end up falling flat on my face."
"Mark... calm down..." Yasmin sits on the sofa, dressing the female toddler. "And watch your language." Running my fingers through my hair, i stop in my tracks. "I'm sorry, but its true."
"Maybe he just forgot to tell you?"
"Purposely you mean. I guess this is some kind of revenge. He knew how much i was looking forward in spending the evening together. I even bought this crappy box set to watch with him!" Kicking over the rectangle box, it makes a dull thud sound as it hits the corner of the wall, after sliding along the laminate.
"I don't know, Mark. I wish i knew. I've left him a message to call you, maybe he has his phone off..."
"Or maybe he just doesn't give a damn about me?" A lump forms in my throat. Don't cry Mark. Don't. This is exactly what he wants, repetitively i repeat in my head. "I'm such a fool for ever believing him. Our relationship is over and i need to get over it." Exhaling a deep sigh, my palms cover my face.
"I'll try my best to get answers out of him, Mark. And i promise to let you know about any new information if i find it."
"No, don't. There's no point." I protest. "If he wanted me to know, then he would text me himself. Clearly I'm evil and he wants nothing more to do with me."
"Don't be silly, you know that's not true. You're far from evil!"
"Then tell me Yasmin, because I'm going out of my mind here!" Tears slowly run down my cheeks without me even noticing. I'm just far too tired to even control my emotions anymore.
"Mar-" Her sentence is cut off by the sound of a light fist making contact with the front door.
"I'll get it!" A voice calls from upstairs, followed by footsteps.

"He just needs a break and i agree with you, he should of told you. And I'm sorry for not telling you about the text. Trust me, i didn't mean for you to sit up all night, i guess i just drifted off without knowing." Sitting Eleanor comfortable in front of the TV, Yasmin snakes an arm around my shoulder. "No matter what happens, you'll always have your friends...and daughter to love and support you..." Wrapping her fingers around my wrist, she places my hand onto her ballooning stomach. Wiping away my tears with my free hand, a smile forms on my face whilst my fingers spread across her bump.
"Always."
Our quiet conversation is interrupted by the sound of mumbles coming from the hallway. "I wonder who that is?" Yasmin questions, still standing in front of me, allowing my hand to feel the light kicks of the unborn child.
"I didn't see anyone. Maybe its just Mormons." I add, trying to work out whether or not i can recognise the second voice.
"You can't! Not today, he's in no fit state. You just enjoy sticking the knife in, don't you? Yeah that's it, you do a runner! Scum of the earth!" Robbie's speech hastily turns into a shout within a split second. "You run away then! Leave us to pick up the pieces!" The front door slams loudly, making the three of us flinch. Eleanor's eyes grow with fear by the noise, quickly Yasmin leaves my side to comfort her daughter. Shuffling echoes along the hallway, as Robbie makes his way to the door frame. Holding my head still, my eyes are only able to see his feet.
"I...I...I think... you have a visitor." Robbie's voice stutters. Glancing my eyes up his figure, shock runs through my body. Standing a couple of inches away from me is Robbie and in his arms is a small child. That's when it hits me. That isn't any small child. "...Meet your Son, Mark." He looks at me with a softening smile.