chapter 32

Robbie's POV

For the first time, Gary doesn't have words pouring out from his mouth, instead he just stands holding onto the door avoiding eye contact with me. "...Well...can i come in? So we can discuss this?"
"I don't think i have a choice... do i...? You're not going to leave..."
Rising my eyebrows i nod my head slightly. "Blimey... after all these years you're finally starting to know what i'm like..."
Gary fiddles with the lock on the door, once unlocked he stands aside allowing me entry. In front of me stands a middle aged man, dressed in a plain white t shirt and blue striped shorts, and with no surprise he's lost weight since the last time i saw him. "I'll put the kettle on..." He guides me to the living room, before disappearing into the kitchen. With Gary out of sight, it gives me time to have a quick nose around. It's obvious that he's taken a few photographs down, noticing the nails in the wall with nothing hanging off them. Sliding my hand along the fireplace i come across a framed photograph, of the band from last year during rehearsals. Me, Jay, Howard, Gary and M-... It appears that the space beside Gary doesn't contain another person, but I'm sure Mark was there that day? Squinting my eyes carefully at the photo, i notice an arm wrapped around Gary's waist. Looking at the rest of our hands it's clear that it doesn't belong to any of the three of us, as our hands are visible and nowhere near Gary's waist. He's cut Mark off? "Looking for something?" A voice speaks, almost causing me to drop the photo frame.
"E...Erm...n..no was...just looking." Neatly i place it back onto the fireplace, before sitting back down onto the sofa, like a school boy avoiding a telling off for snooping. Gary looks over at the photograph whilst handing me my mug.
"Was thinking about having a change about around here... could do with a clear out...and decorating..."
"Just painting?"
Gary shrugs his shoulders. "Got stuff i need to get rid of first... or maybe just move house and start a fresh, you know?" Even though he doesn't say it, i know exactly what 'stuff' he needs to get rid of.
"Maybe it's not a good idea to make big decisions before the baby is born... he or she is going to need support from both Dad's-"
"No. I can do this..."

Staring shocked at Gary, i carefully place my mug onto the coffee table in front of me. "You're not suggesting that you're going to be a single Dad, right?"
"Maybe... i'm just thinking what's best for my little one."
"Gaz... it's yours and Mark's baby... he needs you right now himself... the baby isn't a toy."
Gary laughs whilst shaking his head. "And what do you know, eh? You're no Dad of the year either, so no offence, but don't dish out advice to me when you can't even follow it yourself." Gritting my teeth by his comment, i try my best to ignore it. For Mark and the baby's sake.
"Right... well...anyway... the reason i came here was to ask for your support... are you willing to help or am i wasting my time here asking?"
"I think you know the answer to that one."
"Gary, he tried to drown himself tonight... doesn't that do anything to you? He's been your friend for the past 20 or so years... you were going to get married to this man... surly you feel something?" A more serious look forms onto Gary's face now, as he breathes in a sharp intake of breath.
"...Well he's not the only one..." Quietly he mumbles, whilst twiddling his thumbs together.
"What do you mean with that?"
"Just saying... he's not the only one... who feels that way about all of this... simplest way out..." Swallowing hard, Gary walks into the kitchen again. For a few seconds of thinking, it finally then hits me. Gary's tried to kill himself too? Jesus.

"Gary... wait." Walking into the kitchen, he stands leaned against the sink with his back to me. "I know how hard this is... i've been in your position... but... that isn't the answer... that's why we're going to get Mark help... for the sake of both of yours child...and your relationship... together you can do this, but you both have to be strong... he needs you mate...more than ever... the only way we can help him, is with you being there...please? I know we're not the best of friends after our colourful history, but he's my best friend and i wouldn't be asking if i wasn't desperate... please come with us to the clinic on Wednesday." The kitchen is filled with silence. Gary still remains in the same position, bowing his head whilst collecting his thoughts. "...Gary?"
Softly he sniffs, whilst wiping his face with the back of his hand. "O...ok..." Slowly he turns round, showing me his reddened face, just like he's been crying...
"Ok?"
Sighing deeply with his eyes closed, already i can tell he's regretting it. "I...I...I'll come..."
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Mark's POV

Loudly the front door closes disturbing me from my sleep. Rubbing my eyes i glance over at my phone for the time- 2:03 am. Who would be coming home at this time of night? Voices mumble downstairs which catches my attention. Very quietly i reach for my crutches which rest at the side of the bed, almost tip toeing i make my way to the top of the stairs. "Did you speak to, Gaz? And i do mean speak, not punch." Instantly, by hearing Gary's name, my heart begins to race in my chest.
"Yeah... we had a good chat actually..." Robbie's voice sounds slightly muffled. I need to hear this. Sliding down the stairs on my bum with my crutches in one hand, i sit on the bottom step with my head peering around the stair railing, enough for me to see two figures in the kitchen.
"What did he say?"
"...Not much really... resisted at first... but once i got inside we slowly started to talk more. He's lost weight and doesn't look 100% healthy himself. He's even talking about decorating, having a complete house makeover... or he's thinking about moving house..."
Yasmin looks at Robbie surprised. "What?! No he can't! What about the baby?!"
"...Well... that's another thing we discussed... he said the best thing for the baby... is if he's the one to look after it... just him... it's his baby..." It feels like my heart has sunk to the bottom of my chest hearing that. I've really ruined everything now.
"Oh gosh... poor Mark..."

Robbie walks over to Yasmin, placing his hand onto her back showing support. "But i told him he couldn't... not without Mark, they all need one another for this family to work, and right now Mark needs his support whilst going to this clinic." Has someone just thrown a brick into my face? Because that's what it feels like! They're sending me to a clinic?! I rarely get angry, but right now i'm fuming! Standing up on my crutches, the best i can, i march into the kitchen. The chatter instantly dies, by the sight of me slamming open the kitchen door.
"Oh...hiya mate... how are you feeling?" Robbie peers up, with his hands still firmly rested on Yasmin's shoulders.
"Don't 'oh hiya mate' me! What's this about a clinic?! I'm not back on the booze before you say."
"Mark, just stay calm... it's not for the booze... it's because we're concerned... we all are..." Sadly Yasmin looks up at me, with a face full of sympathy.
Shaking my head with annoyance, i look at the pair of them. "You don't need to be concerned about me, i'm a grown man i don't need help. If it's not for the booze, then what for? And why did you go to Gary's for? You better not of laid one finger on him Rob, because if you have...believe me you'll regret it!"
"Mark, please...take a seat..." Robbie walks over to one of the spare chairs at the table, pulling it back for me to sit down on. Watching the serious look on his face, for now i decide to do as he says.
"I'm listening...?"

Yasmin looks up at Robbie, giving him a slight nod. "Mark...erm...Me and Yasmin have been talking...and...well... tonight really threw us off guard... the whole bath thing and-"
"I've told you... it was just a moment of thoughts which i got carried away with..." Robbie holds his hand into my direction, quietening me down.
"Please...please let me finish..." He takes a deep breath, before continuing. "...Like you said 'it was just a moment thing', but we can't take chances. We can't be scared of leaving you alone every time... we do enough of that worry over Ellie..."
"And your point is...?" Tears begin to feel my eyes, as the muscles in my throat tighten.
"Our point is...we want to help you...and...and well the only way we can actually help you...is if...we send you to...erm...a Suicide rehab clinic..." Tension fills the room, which almost suffocates me. They're sending me to a suicide clinic?