Mark's POV
Who? Who would do this?! My bottom lip begins to tremble from the anger and upset over the situation, until it finally hits me. James. James was the one who was last in here with me and he saw me take it off. "That son of a bitch." Muttering the words under my breath, before tossing the empty box over my shoulder, i storm out of my room. In the sudden rage, i no longer feel the pains in my ribs through my anger. Marching down the hallway, my eyes immediately are drawn to dinner hall. James and his mates are all sat around laughing, probably over what he's just done. "James." The words almost turn into a growl as my piecing eyes stare into his cheerful face.
"Oh...er...hiya...Mark." His laughing moment has soon come to an abrupt stop once i appear onto the scene.
"Ayup lads... keep your eyes on your missus with Owen around...but then again he bats both ways doesn't he?" The same guy i had a run in and ended up covered in my dinner, continues to joke and snigger right under my nose, but for now i choose to ignore him, James is the one i'm after.
"Are you going to give me my ring back or am i going to have to get it back myself?"
Frowning his face at my comment, looks either side of him for help from his mates. "Ohh Jamsey you haven't stolen his cock ring again have, ya?" The room fills with laughter once again, but this time James can't hold it back any longer, its almost as if he's laughing in my face on purpose. Anger boils within me, causing me to lash out at him. Taking two fist fulls of his shirt, lunging myself at him i pin him to the ground.
"Give it back! Give it fucking back!" My fist crashes against his jaw, followed by a hard whack against his nose.
"Get off me Mark! I don't know what you're talking about!" The weakened man covers his face the best he can, trying to defend himself from my punches. Suddenly i get a flash back of the night me and Gary received the news from Laura. I must of got caught in the moment, because the next thing i know is i'm screaming the words which Gary did at me. "You've broken this family, you bastard!" Hands wrap around my waist, dragging me off the blood covered body underneath me. Breathing faster, after having my mind being casted back to that night, my legs feel limp.
"Oi! What the fuck do you think you're playing at?!" The tall male grabs me around my t shirt neck, almost lifting me off the ground, whilst James remains on the floor, coughing loudly behind me. "You like hitting people, eh? Like your fella? Well, i think i ought to teach you a less-"
"Mark?!" A voice echoes across the dinner hall. All heads are tilted into the direction of the voice. "Put him down this second." It's Robbie. Surprisingly, he does as Robbie tells him. Dropping me back to my feet instantly. Still feeling wobbly and not just physically, the room starts to make me feel claustrophobic. I've got to get out of here. I need to get my ring and go.
"Mate? Are you ok?" Carefully Robbie places a hand onto my shoulder as lightly as possible, but enough to make me flinch. My eyes look up at the younger male, seeing the look of concern spread across his face, as i stare at him in a dazed way.
"I...I...S...Sorry." Not giving Robbie time to speak, let alone stop me from leaving, i quickly run back to my room. I can't deal with this, not now.
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Sitting on the edge of my bed, my face is cupped in my hands. Why are things getting worse? Why now? The only good thing which has happened today, is that I've fount out i can now walk without crutches, even if my ribs are still bruised nothing is impossible, i guess. "Mark?" A quiet fist knocks against my bedroom door, and within a second or two it opens inwards. Inhaling a deep breath, my eyes roll over towards the door frame, to find Robbie standing against it. "What on earth was happening? Did they hurt you?" Shuffling across the carpet, he wraps a supportive arm around my back. Shrugging my shoulders acting as if i don't care, when really it's killing me inside knowing Gary's ring has been stolen, i hide my emotions...for now.
"Not really... what are you doing here? I thought i told you i didn't want to see you again, not after what you did to Gary."
"I...I know that... but Gary texted me earlier and asked if i could drop you off at you-...er...his house, so you could pick some clothes up." His arm remains around me, slowly i look up away from my hands.
"Why didn't he text me? I texted him earlier? And why would he ask you to take me, after you hurt him?"
Slightly, Robbie shakes his head in response to my questions. "I don't know mate. He texted me to come and pick you up so i can drive you there."
"A...and Gary will be in the house? I need to speak to him..." Taking hold of my coat, i begin to get ready.
"Erh... he will, but... he's not feeling well... and er... he said he was going to bed, so he wants us to be quiet, collect you stuff and go."
Nodding my head, my eyes fix onto the bedroom window, staring out into the distance. "...In other words... he's avoiding me and doesn't want to leave his own house... i understand." Painfully, i pretend that i don't mind, i grit my teeth feeling the pain that Gary still possibly hates my guts.
"S...Should we go then? He might still be awake if we hurry?"
"Yeah...ok, but i'm not getting my hopes up..."
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Gary's POV
Crunching on a paracetamol whilst i lay in bed, i flick through my twitter page on my mobile. This splitting headache isn't doing me any good and knowing Mark is on his way isn't making things any better. Although the previous meet up we had didn't go badly, but after a good hard think about that day as much as i miss him, i can't forgive him. I know that i'm being a hypocrite over the whole situation after having an affair myself, but at least i was careful... no children were involved. "Oh Mark..." Sighing softly, my thumb strokes across the photo on my phone, which we took whilst we were at the cinema back in November last year. The sound of the front door clicking as it opens catches me off guard, accidentally i drop my phone whilst pulling the duvet up to my neck, as i close my eyes pretending i'm asleep.
"Think he's still awake?" Swallowing hard, i can recognise that voice anywhere. It almost hums into a soft melody whenever he speaks, although this time his voice sounds broken, weak and pained.
"I don't know, mate. He's rather quiet if he isn't. Lets go and fetch your things then." Footsteps sound on the stairs, getting closer each time. The footsteps come to a sudden stop, as the floorboards creak outside the door. There's nothing more i can do, other than to pretend i'm asleep, as much as i want to see and speak to Mark deep down, i can't, not now anyway.
"Has my things been pack-"
"Sssh..." Robbie hushes Mark's speech once they enter the room. "He's here...fast asleep..." The room drops into a silent mode, i can almost feel Mark's eyes staring at me, studying every feature of my body. "Come on Mark... lets get packing...?" Again, Mark doesn't answer, instead i hear his feet shuffle closer to the bed and a gentle clink sounds, as he wraps his hand around the bottom of the bed frame.
"H...He looks...so peaceful..." Softly he whispers, the words almost wrap around me like a hug, his sweet sounding voice never fails to bring the warmth back into my heart.
"Er...i guess i better do the packing then." Robbie's never been the quiet type when it comes to doing a job, light banging comes from the bottom of the bedroom, as he starts to pack Mark's bag for him. If Robbie's the one packing, the question is...where's Mark and what exactly is he doing? Surly he can't still be gawping at me?
Minutes later my question is answered. Feeling the bed sag slightly rings alarm bells in my head. Mark's on the bed and by the feel of things he's getting closer to my body. The presence of a figure gets closer behind me, until i feel the roughness of his jeans against my back. Still pretending to be asleep i start to panic, any minute I'm accidentally going to open my eyes and come face to face with him. My thoughts soon leave my mind once i feel an arm snake around onto my stomach, where it tenderly rests there. Shit, this doesn't look good, maybe i can't avoid him after all.
"Right mate... i think i have everything packed, we best get you back to the cli- Mark?! What the hell are you doing?" Robbie speaks in an alarming type of way. "Get out of the bed right now! This isn't going to fix things is it? What if Gary wakes up?" Angrily he whispers.
"I...er...I...don't...I don't...k...know..."
"We need to leave. Just get out of there." Snapping still at Mark, i feel him slide out of the bed again, causing me to release an inaudible sigh of relief. "Right. Lets go. We've got plenty of time to come back, plus you've got the scan next week."
"Y...Yeah..." Mark sulks, leaving me once again alone in bed. As soon as i hear the bedroom door creak shut, I prie one of my eyes open, searching around the now empty room.
"Thank god..." Quietly i mutter, whilst stroking my forehead.
"Mark? Mark what's the matter?! What have you got there?" Robbie's voice sounds muffled as it echoes in the hallway. My entire body freezes, as i listen clearly to the two men talking downstairs. "Is that Gary's phone? Oh gosh Mark... come here mate... it's ok... come on..." My ears prick up by the sound of faint sniffling and crying. My phone? Of course... i left the photo of me and Mark open on it. Guilt forms in the pit of my stomach, there's nothing more which hurts me, than hearing Mark cry.
Tuesday, 25 March 2014
Tuesday, 11 March 2014
Chapter 37
Mark's POV
"G...Gary..." Softly i mumble, whilst staring up at the ceiling. "Why am i on the floor?" I ask myself, it's almost as if i'm paralysed. Blinking my eyes around the room, it looks familiar... too familiar. A smell swirls around my nostrils, which instantly brings warmth to my heart. I'm back in our house, being greeted by Gary's cooking. "G...Gary! Gary where are you?" Using as much energy as i can find, my fingertips gradually move across the carpet. The sound of clattering pans in the kitchen sound, immediately i narrow my eyes over towards the open door, to where i notice a moving shadow. "Gary! I'm in here! I can't... i can't move!"
Within a few seconds the shadows turns into a figure. Gary comes rushing into the room, instantly kneeing beside me on the floor. "Mark?! What on earth has happened? Have you fallen?!"
"I...I...I don't know... i just woke up and-" Glancing over towards Gary, i notice a large knife is clenched in his fist. The coldness runs under my navel on my bare skin. Swallowing hard, i study Gary's face, which is full of concentration. "G...G...Gary..." My voice shakes, as he continues to trace the knife along my exposed skin.
"You cheated on me Mark..." Gary shakes his head, releasing a sarcastic laugh. It's almost like Gary's changed into a whole different person, one minute he's fussing with a face full of worry and now it looks like he wants to punish me. "You ruined not only my life... but also our child's... i don't want you in their life... look at you... you're nothing..." Still being unable to move, the tears roll down my tensed cheeks, still not taking my eyes away from the sharp object.
"W...W...What are you going...t...to do...?" My lips tremble from the fear. Gary presses his lips together, before focusing his eyes back over to my pale looking face.
"I don't see what i can do... apart from remove you from their life..."
"H...H...How? Please...please Gary... i'm sorry...i...i...i didn't know what i was doing...i-" Suddenly a sharp ripping pain forms in my stomach. "OUCH!" Yelling at the top of my lungs, blood begins to pour from the knife wound in my stomach, as it remains deep inside of me.
"I'm going to get rid of you once and for all." Gary slashes the knife against my skin creating a pool of blood around the pair of us.
"GARY PLEASE! NO PLEASE!" The pain knocks me in and out of consciousness. Flickering my eyelids, it feels as if someones cut off my oxygen. "G...G....G..." Loudly i gasp holding cupping my throat, now being able to move. Snapping my eyes open, our living room has been replaced by a single bedroom. Using my fist i hit it as hard as i possibly can against the wall beside me in bed. My pupils roll to the back of my head, feeling all oxygen start to leave my body.
The sound of a door slamming open catches my attention. "Mark? Mate what's happening?" A hand grips to my knee. "Breathe! You've got to breathe!"
"I...I...inhal...inahl...o...or..." Stretching out my fingers towards the desktop, my eyes act as if they're both glued shut.
"Oh shit... where is it?!" Bottles of deodorant fall to the floor along with a few other things. "Got it! Here! Mark... here take a deep breath." Something plastic forces my mouth open which is followed by an unusual taste. Doing as the male tells me, i take a deep breath. Repeating the actions, a final spray enters my mouth. Finally air re enters my lungs. "Easy mate... i think... you've had some sort of panic attack." Rubbing the palms of my hands against my eyelids, i peer through the gaps in my fingers. In front of me stands a very worried looking James.
"What are...are you doing here?" Quietly i mumble, whilst wiping the sleep out of my view.
"I heard you banging on the wall...? Has this happened before?" Still feeling slightly out of breath, deeply i inhale.
"Once...or twice... a few times at home...when i had bad dreams, but Ga-" Casting my mind back to how Gary use to comfort me when i use to wake up having my nightmares which usually triggers a slight panic attack, it saddens me over the fact he's not here now to calm me. "...It doesn't matter."
"Do...Do you want a nurse?"
"No." Loudly i snap, surprised at my reaction to his comment, i sit more comfortably in my bed. "S...s..sorry... i'm fine... honest." Forcefully i smile. James gives me a half smile, as his hand gently strokes the top of my shoulder.
"Give me a shout if you want anything... i mean that..." He nods his head, before walking back towards the open bedroom door.
"James...wait..." I lift up a hand into his direction, stopping him in his tracks. Refusing to turn back around to face me, it's almost like he was expecting me to stop him from leaving. "W...why did you do it...? I thought we were friends...and i told you those things in private..." James remains in silence with his back still facing me, all that can be heard is his quiet sighing, regretting the entire situation of what happened yesterday. "...You could at least give me an answer... am i really that much of a monster?"
"...No..." Bluntly he replies in a miserable tone.
"I'm trying my best here to get my life back on track... Me and Gary both know what's happened... even if i can't remember exactly what happened i sure am suffering for it... and i'm not saying that to make people pity me." Taking a deep breath, i feel my bottom lip tremble. "...I'm in here to try to prove to Gary and our baby that i want to make things work. I want my family back, i want to be a good husband, Dad and role model... but by getting constant reminders aren't going to help, are they? I could easily take my own life away... like..." I click my fingers. "...that. But no... i'm not going to back down and i'm not going to give up on them, i would rather die trying than not at all." My eyes move away from James' figure and travel down to look at the small band on my finger. Since Gary gave me his engagement ring back, i've been wearing it and haven't took it off since... well accept when i have a shower in here...i can't trust those plug holes. Apart from the photos, the engagement ring is all i have left of him...for now.
James continues to avoid eye contact and communication with me, he's almost acting like a school boy who's just been screamed at by his teacher. "It wasn't my fault, Mark. It just kinda slipped...out..."
"Right... so my problems are top of your mind then? I thought you were better than the rest of them... i guess i thought wrong..." Pulling back the duvet, my hand wraps around the top of my crutch, which helps me to my feet.
"W...Where are you going...?"
Silently i wince whilst walking towards my desktop. Leaning against it, i open a small brown box. "Going for a shower... need to have a clear head for my session this afternoon... and i've got to go back home to collect more clothes...doubt Gary will be in, but hey ho..." Sliding the silver band off my finger, it sits in the centre of the white laced cloth. "Some people just aren't worth the time..."
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Holding a towel tightly around my waist, i being to limp back into my bedroom. That was possibly one of the worst showers i've ever had. Firstly the person who had used it before me didn't even bother to clear up after themselves, which resulted me stepping into a shower covered in hairs. Then secondly someone had used all of my shampoo apart from a tiny pea sized amount, if that, in the cap. Tying the towel around my waist, i start to towel dry my dripping hair. Reaching out for the bedside cupboard, using it as support to help me onto the bed. Gripping to my phone, my eyes scroll through my contact list, the name i've been looking for stands out straight away to me. 'G x' Almost instant i feel the stress begin to drop from my body, just by staring at the contact. Taking a deep breath, my fingers type a short message. 'Hey Gaz, it's Mark... i was wondering if it's still ok for me to drop by later on, so i can pick up some more clothes? I only need a bag's worth and if you don't want me in the house just leave the bag on the doorstep or something for me, please? Hope to see you later, Marko xx' Closing my eyes, a sigh of relief exists from my nose. I've only got a week left in here, which mean we get to finally find out the sex of our baby... which could possibly help mend a few wounds in our relationship... i can't think of anything better other than me and Gary getting back on track, falling head over heels for one another for when the baby is born... and who will be brought up by two loved up parents...
Continuing to towel dry my hair whilst looking around the room, something catches my eye. At first it doesn't sink in, until i look down at my hand. "Eh?" Dropping the towel to the floor, i take hold of my crutch, walking over to the messy looking desk. The box sits under one of my folders, which has the papers torn out. That wasn't like that when i left and i certainly wouldn't leave my desk in such a mess, not with my OCD. Lifting up the box, i crack back the lid to take a look inside. Within a few seconds of opening it, it falls to the floor when i feel a shock of horror run through my body. The empty box rolls under the bed. "N...N...no...please...no..." My breathing increases and my legs feel weak. Someones stolen Gary's engagement ring.
"G...Gary..." Softly i mumble, whilst staring up at the ceiling. "Why am i on the floor?" I ask myself, it's almost as if i'm paralysed. Blinking my eyes around the room, it looks familiar... too familiar. A smell swirls around my nostrils, which instantly brings warmth to my heart. I'm back in our house, being greeted by Gary's cooking. "G...Gary! Gary where are you?" Using as much energy as i can find, my fingertips gradually move across the carpet. The sound of clattering pans in the kitchen sound, immediately i narrow my eyes over towards the open door, to where i notice a moving shadow. "Gary! I'm in here! I can't... i can't move!"
Within a few seconds the shadows turns into a figure. Gary comes rushing into the room, instantly kneeing beside me on the floor. "Mark?! What on earth has happened? Have you fallen?!"
"I...I...I don't know... i just woke up and-" Glancing over towards Gary, i notice a large knife is clenched in his fist. The coldness runs under my navel on my bare skin. Swallowing hard, i study Gary's face, which is full of concentration. "G...G...Gary..." My voice shakes, as he continues to trace the knife along my exposed skin.
"You cheated on me Mark..." Gary shakes his head, releasing a sarcastic laugh. It's almost like Gary's changed into a whole different person, one minute he's fussing with a face full of worry and now it looks like he wants to punish me. "You ruined not only my life... but also our child's... i don't want you in their life... look at you... you're nothing..." Still being unable to move, the tears roll down my tensed cheeks, still not taking my eyes away from the sharp object.
"W...W...What are you going...t...to do...?" My lips tremble from the fear. Gary presses his lips together, before focusing his eyes back over to my pale looking face.
"I don't see what i can do... apart from remove you from their life..."
"H...H...How? Please...please Gary... i'm sorry...i...i...i didn't know what i was doing...i-" Suddenly a sharp ripping pain forms in my stomach. "OUCH!" Yelling at the top of my lungs, blood begins to pour from the knife wound in my stomach, as it remains deep inside of me.
"I'm going to get rid of you once and for all." Gary slashes the knife against my skin creating a pool of blood around the pair of us.
"GARY PLEASE! NO PLEASE!" The pain knocks me in and out of consciousness. Flickering my eyelids, it feels as if someones cut off my oxygen. "G...G....G..." Loudly i gasp holding cupping my throat, now being able to move. Snapping my eyes open, our living room has been replaced by a single bedroom. Using my fist i hit it as hard as i possibly can against the wall beside me in bed. My pupils roll to the back of my head, feeling all oxygen start to leave my body.
The sound of a door slamming open catches my attention. "Mark? Mate what's happening?" A hand grips to my knee. "Breathe! You've got to breathe!"
"I...I...inhal...inahl...o...or..." Stretching out my fingers towards the desktop, my eyes act as if they're both glued shut.
"Oh shit... where is it?!" Bottles of deodorant fall to the floor along with a few other things. "Got it! Here! Mark... here take a deep breath." Something plastic forces my mouth open which is followed by an unusual taste. Doing as the male tells me, i take a deep breath. Repeating the actions, a final spray enters my mouth. Finally air re enters my lungs. "Easy mate... i think... you've had some sort of panic attack." Rubbing the palms of my hands against my eyelids, i peer through the gaps in my fingers. In front of me stands a very worried looking James.
"What are...are you doing here?" Quietly i mumble, whilst wiping the sleep out of my view.
"I heard you banging on the wall...? Has this happened before?" Still feeling slightly out of breath, deeply i inhale.
"Once...or twice... a few times at home...when i had bad dreams, but Ga-" Casting my mind back to how Gary use to comfort me when i use to wake up having my nightmares which usually triggers a slight panic attack, it saddens me over the fact he's not here now to calm me. "...It doesn't matter."
"Do...Do you want a nurse?"
"No." Loudly i snap, surprised at my reaction to his comment, i sit more comfortably in my bed. "S...s..sorry... i'm fine... honest." Forcefully i smile. James gives me a half smile, as his hand gently strokes the top of my shoulder.
"Give me a shout if you want anything... i mean that..." He nods his head, before walking back towards the open bedroom door.
"James...wait..." I lift up a hand into his direction, stopping him in his tracks. Refusing to turn back around to face me, it's almost like he was expecting me to stop him from leaving. "W...why did you do it...? I thought we were friends...and i told you those things in private..." James remains in silence with his back still facing me, all that can be heard is his quiet sighing, regretting the entire situation of what happened yesterday. "...You could at least give me an answer... am i really that much of a monster?"
"...No..." Bluntly he replies in a miserable tone.
"I'm trying my best here to get my life back on track... Me and Gary both know what's happened... even if i can't remember exactly what happened i sure am suffering for it... and i'm not saying that to make people pity me." Taking a deep breath, i feel my bottom lip tremble. "...I'm in here to try to prove to Gary and our baby that i want to make things work. I want my family back, i want to be a good husband, Dad and role model... but by getting constant reminders aren't going to help, are they? I could easily take my own life away... like..." I click my fingers. "...that. But no... i'm not going to back down and i'm not going to give up on them, i would rather die trying than not at all." My eyes move away from James' figure and travel down to look at the small band on my finger. Since Gary gave me his engagement ring back, i've been wearing it and haven't took it off since... well accept when i have a shower in here...i can't trust those plug holes. Apart from the photos, the engagement ring is all i have left of him...for now.
James continues to avoid eye contact and communication with me, he's almost acting like a school boy who's just been screamed at by his teacher. "It wasn't my fault, Mark. It just kinda slipped...out..."
"Right... so my problems are top of your mind then? I thought you were better than the rest of them... i guess i thought wrong..." Pulling back the duvet, my hand wraps around the top of my crutch, which helps me to my feet.
"W...Where are you going...?"
Silently i wince whilst walking towards my desktop. Leaning against it, i open a small brown box. "Going for a shower... need to have a clear head for my session this afternoon... and i've got to go back home to collect more clothes...doubt Gary will be in, but hey ho..." Sliding the silver band off my finger, it sits in the centre of the white laced cloth. "Some people just aren't worth the time..."
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Holding a towel tightly around my waist, i being to limp back into my bedroom. That was possibly one of the worst showers i've ever had. Firstly the person who had used it before me didn't even bother to clear up after themselves, which resulted me stepping into a shower covered in hairs. Then secondly someone had used all of my shampoo apart from a tiny pea sized amount, if that, in the cap. Tying the towel around my waist, i start to towel dry my dripping hair. Reaching out for the bedside cupboard, using it as support to help me onto the bed. Gripping to my phone, my eyes scroll through my contact list, the name i've been looking for stands out straight away to me. 'G x' Almost instant i feel the stress begin to drop from my body, just by staring at the contact. Taking a deep breath, my fingers type a short message. 'Hey Gaz, it's Mark... i was wondering if it's still ok for me to drop by later on, so i can pick up some more clothes? I only need a bag's worth and if you don't want me in the house just leave the bag on the doorstep or something for me, please? Hope to see you later, Marko xx' Closing my eyes, a sigh of relief exists from my nose. I've only got a week left in here, which mean we get to finally find out the sex of our baby... which could possibly help mend a few wounds in our relationship... i can't think of anything better other than me and Gary getting back on track, falling head over heels for one another for when the baby is born... and who will be brought up by two loved up parents...
Continuing to towel dry my hair whilst looking around the room, something catches my eye. At first it doesn't sink in, until i look down at my hand. "Eh?" Dropping the towel to the floor, i take hold of my crutch, walking over to the messy looking desk. The box sits under one of my folders, which has the papers torn out. That wasn't like that when i left and i certainly wouldn't leave my desk in such a mess, not with my OCD. Lifting up the box, i crack back the lid to take a look inside. Within a few seconds of opening it, it falls to the floor when i feel a shock of horror run through my body. The empty box rolls under the bed. "N...N...no...please...no..." My breathing increases and my legs feel weak. Someones stolen Gary's engagement ring.
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