Mark's POV
It's been five days since Gary's visit and since that day i haven't stopped smiling. Things are starting to get back on track, i've even made a friend in here after finally finding the courage to speak. Standing in front of my bedroom mirror, i run the comb through my slightly messy bed head. The bruises have faded and my ribs are slowly healing, everyday i try and walk without my crutches, even if it is only a couple of steps a day... it's steady progress. The music blasts through my headphones, whilst i continue to get ready for my morning class. "Yeaaah iiii... will love you baaabyyy... aaalllwwaaayys..." Hovering the comb above my lips i pretend it's a microphone, as i sing at the top of my lungs. "... and i'll be there, forever and a day. Allllwaaays...-" All of a sudden a shadow catches my attention at the doorway. Tugging out my headphones, i notice my nurse smiling at me with her arms folded.
"...I say Mr Owen..."
For the first time in years, my cheeks scorch slightly from embarrassment. "...Sorry... it's been a while. I got a bit carried away... it's one of my favourites..." Uncontrollably, a smile spreads across my face. "...Reminds me of someone...special to me..."
"Don't apologise. You're an outstanding singer, Mark... and i'm sure millions of your lovable fans will agree with me on that." She winks, whilst walking into my bedroom. "...And i'm pretty sure i can guess who that 'special someone' is, seeing as you haven't stopped glowing since he left."
"Oh...er...yeah..." Biting my lip as i shyly smile, reaching for my crutches from the bed stand.
"Ahh... young love." The elderly nurse ruffles up her greying hair slightly. "...You hold onto him...and look after one another... no matter what has happened, just remember that life's too short. Take chances and risks... and live far away out of everybody's reach... all you need is your family, Mark... the best thing in life."
Nodding my head, looking more serious now as i absorb her words, my throat tightens slightly. "I know, Edna. Gary... he..." The words stick to the tip of my tongue. "...He's my soul mate... i know i've told you this all before, but it's true. The fact he came and visited me... it's just... given me that hope, you know? The hope i've been searching for since it happened, and i'll do everything i possibly can to get him back into my life, permanently. Hopefully once we have the scan... things from there will progress... do you think it will?"
"Hunny... everything will mend in time... Gary's been through the wars before being in a relationship with you, right? With a bit of time and support, the broken pieces will piece back together... seeing the glint in yours and Gary's eyes, whilst sitting opposite one another... it shows that whatever spark is left in your relationship is still there..." Stroking my cheek with the back of her hand, hearing her words buzz around my ears cause me to breathe a sigh of relief. Hearing the positives brings me strength and encouragement not to give up.
"You've been a big help to me... i can't thank you enough... whatever it takes, i will repay you for helping me."
"Hey... it's not about repaying... it's about supporting you, exactly like you are with Gary. Showing you the positives in your life is why i'm here. Besides the way you can repay me... is give me VIP passes to the next Take That tour." Cheekily a smile forms at the corners of her mouth, as an arm coils around my aching shoulders.
"Well... i'm sure i can pull a few strings here and there..." Brushing off a wink, we begin to make our way towards the bedroom door.
"Come on... we've got a class to attend."
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Once class has ended, that means one thing. Dinner time. Picking up one of the plastic trays, exactly like the ones i had when i was at school, but of course a much more appetising one, minus the stains. I immediately walk over towards the main meal section. Today's special is Sheppard's Pie, one of my absolute favourites. Peering through the glass sneeze guard, my spoon dunks into the dish, spooning out a pile of the meat and mash onto my plate. My tongue runs along my bottom lip, as the fresh ingredients swirl around my nostrils. Adding colour to my plate, i also place some vegetables around the centre, topping it off nicely. "I'm gonna enjoy this." Mumbling under my breath, it's the first proper meal i've had since i arrived here. Walking over to find a spare seat, my eyes point out someone. My newly found friend - James. We've been speaking for a couple of days now, we've even spoken about Gary. Surprisingly he seems pretty understanding about the entire situation, believing my story instead of the money grabbing paps'. "James!" Rising my free hand i give him a gentle wave. Using only one of my crutches now, i limp over towards the table he's sat at with a few of his other friends. As soon as my voice travels across the room, all eyes seem to point at me like daggers, as if i'm a lost endangered animal about to be fed to a group of starved lions. Stopping in my tracks just inches from the table now, James bows his head in disappointment. "Mate? Mind if i join you?" Sinking behind the much taller and muscular men, James flicks a carrot around his plate with his fork, avoiding communication and any eye contact with me as possible. "M...Mate? Is everything-"
"He doesn't want to talk to you, haven't you got the message?" Suddenly one of the gentlemen which James was hiding behind, stands to their feet, towering above me.
"But i-" Looking up at the tall figure, my fingers tightly hold to my tray almost turning my knuckles white.
"Why would anyone want to speak to a lousy, cheating scumbag like you?" A few of the other men around the table snigger by his comment. It feels like i'm a teenager back at school, although as a child i was never bullied, i guess i'm now experiencing it.
"E...Excuse me?"
"Where's that paper James, eh? Front page? You're a disgusting human being." Moving closer to me, it's almost audible to the fella's ears, the rapid beat of my heart, not because i'm scared. No chance, but from hearing the lies being spread once again.
"Who do you...you think you are?!" Shaking my head, i furrow my eyebrows up at him.
"Are you standing up for yourself?" Hitting his fist vertically under my tray, it splatters all over my body. Releasing an animal type yelp from the shock, gravy drips down my face and neck. The room fills with roaring laughter, whilst i stand covered in warm meat and potato. Gripping to my crutch, my words are swallowed, feeling the tears build in my eyes from embarrassment. "Now... are you going stand up for yourself, sonny?" His words spit into my face, as the brown liquid continues to drip down my fragile body.
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Gary's POV
"...And i don't need carrying ooooon! Cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down. You sing a sad song just to turn it around. You say you don't know, you tell me don't lie, you work at a smile and go for a ride!" Clinking the mugs in the soapy water, i continue to sing along to the hand held radio with a smile on my face, whilst washing the dishes. "... You had a bad day, the camera don't lie. You're coming back down and you really don't mind, you had a bad day..."
"Gaz?" A voice echoes down the hallway, as the front door loudly closes by the gust of wind. Interrupting me.
"...In the kitchen!" I call replying back to the voice. Reaching for the tea- towel, my hands bury inside it, drying them. "...You had a bad day..." Turning the dial on the radio, the music stops. Footsteps soon replace the deafening music.
"Nice singing." Yasmin's voice enters the kitchen, as she peers a head around the door.
"Hiya, love." Tossing the tea-towel onto the table, i glance over my shoulder. Yasmin's face instantly drops by the sight of my battered and bruised face. A mortified look appears, as she shakily walks over to me.
"W...W...What on earth happe-"
"No need for questions. The main thing is... i'm ok." Lifting a hand to silence her, my finger presses down on the kettle. "Two sugars?" Blinking her eyes at me whilst i place a tea bag into two mugs, she firmly grips to my shoulder blade.
"Who?!"
"Does it matter? Come on... lets not spoil the mood, otherwise i'll start singing again." I wink as the kettle boils. Steam blurs my view of Yasmin's timid, yet slightly angry face.
"...N...no...surly...?"
Once the hot water is filled almost to the rim of the mugs, i roll my eyes in an annoyed manner. "...Yes... it was... pretty obvious really? Mark's, Robbie's best mate. I kinda expected it really. On the other hand i sort of expected more damage." Shrugging my shoulders, i carefully rest the mugs on two coasters in the centre of the kitchen table.
"I'm gonna kill him!" She curses under her breath.
"Ay. I thought you came to see me, not to commit murders. Take a seat and enjoy your cuppa, you look as if you need one." Pulling back my chair, the happy emotion remains. After a few seconds of debating, Yasmin surrenders as she pulls back a chair opposite me.
"He's not gonna get away with this, Gary."
"Oh just let it go. I've been asking for it, haven't i?" Sipping my tea, my fingers drum against the table top. "...Anyway... i'm sick of talking about my hideous face... guess where i went yesterday?"
"Don't start talking yourself down again. I dunno, where did you go? See Mark again?"
"Nah uh... i took a trip to town and i bumped into a beautiful baby clothing shop!" My eyes lighten by the memory of yesterday.
"You went baby shopping?" A sweet looking smile forms on Yasmin's face, whilst she begins drinking her tea.
"Well... i didn't buy anything... seeing as we don't know the sex yet, but they're absolutely adorable! I swear every item of clothing i saw, i wanted to buy. They were even selling tiny little footie boots, they were no bigger than my thumb!"
"It's so good to see you happy again, Gaz." Yasmin strokes the top of my hand, her smile reflecting my beaming grin.
"Seriously, i've never seen such a huge place selling such small things. I think it's called 'Goo- Goo clothing? I don't know, it's some daft name, but as soon as we have that scan, i'm down there back on that bloody bus!"
"...And... will Mark be joining you?"
"Depends how he's feeling...health's more important... that's why i don't want you to keep stressing." Raising my eyebrow in a fatherly way.
Yasmin shyly blushes, draining her mug. "I know, i know... so... how's he coping? Sessions still going well?"
"Well he's not doing backwards flips over rainbows, of course. We had a good chat about the nursery and things... to be honest i guess it lightened my mood... just the two of us sat down like adults chatting about our baby."
"Is the baby all you spoke about?"
"Pretty much, yeah." Casting my mind back to the night i visited Mark, excitement over the scan builds in my stomach again. It's only a week away now and we can finally find out whether we're having a boy or girl... that's when the crazy shopping trips happen... when the fun starts again. What i need really after the past few weeks i've suffered.
"Sounds great... really pleased that you're both starting to discover what's important in this..." Her hand rests on the visible bump under her t shirt. "Is he enjoying the clinic?"
"Surprisingly... yes... i mean... it's helping him... and giving him the support he needs... which i couldn't give him, i guess." Quietly i mumble. Even though i've perked up, it still doesn't mean i'm 100% ok with Mark, he's still torn a hole in my heart, the only reason i'm getting on with my life, is because of our child. "...We probably wont be able to get him away once the course has ended. He'll be moving in there!"
Thursday, 27 February 2014
Tuesday, 18 February 2014
Chapter 35
Robbie's POV
A loud buzzing sound wakes me up, instantly my eyes snap open. "Uhh..." Groaning whilst i stare up at the ceiling, i notice that i must of fallen asleep on the floor instead of the bed last night.
"Sir?" A female voice sounds outside of the door. "It's 9am. We've tried to ring you for your wake up call over an hour ago, but you must of unplugged the phone last night." Scrolling my eyes over my shoulder towards the phone, the wires have been forcefully pulled from the wall and the phone has been thrown across to the other side of the room. Oh dear.
"Y...Yeah...sorry...erm...thanks... i just need to get dressed and i'll be out of your hair." What the hell even happened last night? Using the back of my hand to wipe away the sleep from my eyes, a stinging pain prevents me from doing so. Looking down at my fist, the dry blood triggers my memory from last night's actions. Taking a deep breath, i get my stuff together leaving the hotel room to head back to the clinic to visit Mark.
Arriving at the clinic a little later than expected, i hurry through the doors towards the reception area. Once i've checked in, i slam open the visiting area's doors a little harder than intended, catching pretty much the entire room's attention. Mark sits alone at the other end of the room, slightly shaking his head as soon as he sees me. "S..Sorry...er..." Blushing majorly, i make my way over into Mark's direction. Today is just going to be a day full of bad luck... i can feel it. "Hiya mate." I grin down to the small weakened man, who remains in his seat with a blank expression on his face. "...I know... i'm late... traffic has been awful." Clearing my throat from my lie, i take the seat opposite him.
"...Or you forgot about me... which is more believable." Mark chews on the inside of his cheek. Staring at the older man's face, i notice the red rings around his eyes, possibly from the hours of crying previous.
"No Mark... never mate... so... how are you finding it? Made any new friends?"
"This isn't play school you know? I'm a grown man and i want to be treated like it more, ok?" Angrily he snaps at me. This isn't like Mark, the emotions running through him are creating a new attitude.
"Of course... i know... i didn't mean it like that."
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Mark inhales a deep breath. "No... i didn't mean that... it's just... being alone gives you more time to over think things... i haven't really spoken to anyone yet... apart from the woman who does the classes... they're pretty good... even if i avoid communication with the other members... i prefer to sit out of the way and just listen."
"Well it's good to hear that the classes are working... that's the main thing... and i'm proud that you're doing this Markie..." Gently i stroke the top of his hand, which i instantly regret, drawing away my bruised hand in a blink of an eye. Mark's eyes widen by the quick flash of it.
"W...What...what happened?"
Swallowing hard, i rattle my brain for yet another lie. "Huh?"
"Your hand? What happened?!" He takes my arm, resting my hand into his palm, so he can examine it properly.
"Oh... it's nothing... long story. Anyway... have you made any new friends yet?"
Mark blinks his eyes at me, refusing to release my hand. "You've already asked me that. Stop avoiding my question."
"It's nothing, it was just a moment of anger that's all. I punched a wall, end of."
"Liar." Mark mumbles under his breath, scanning my face causing me to feel even more guilty about the whole situation.
"I'm telling you the truth, i went to speak to Gary and i-"
"G...Gary...? You went to see Gary?" Backing away from me slightly, whilst remaining in his seat i can tell that he understands what really has happened.
"...Mark... it's not what you think..."
"You...you've hurt him... haven't you?" Gritting his teeth, as the tears build in his eyes he stumbles to his feet.
"Please...let me explain...Mark-" Reaching out my hand into his direction, i take hold of his arm. Mark looks up at me, as his body tenses from the anger.
"Don't fucking touch me. Don't ever... come and see me again. I hate you." Tugging off my grip he storms back towards his room.
"Mark! Please come back!?" I call after him, but it's no good. He's gone.
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Gary's POV
Holding the bundle of tissue against my nose, i stare at the torn, soggy pieces of paper on the table. It's ruined. Robbie's ruined the written side of Mark's life. All his and our memories gone, just like that. The blood continues to drip from my nose and lip. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, i understand why he did it and i don't blame him. My phone begins to ring, which knocks me out of my daydream. Pressing the accept button, i hold it against my ear, before speaking in a hoarse sounding voice. "H...Hello...?"
"Hiya hun, how're you?" A familiar voice sounds in my ear, which immediately brings a smile to my face.
"'ello Yaz... i'm not too bad, thanks, and yourself?" I lie.
"Just a bit tired, guess it's my hormones starting to kick in... are you up to anything today?"
"Any excuse." I laugh a little, which comes to a sudden stop, when i feel a twinge in my face. "...I was actually going to pop out... isn't Robbie back?" Dipping the edge of the tissue under the running tap, i gently stroke away the dry blood on my cheeks.
"Cheeky sod!... Oh... i was going to come round to yours? It's pretty boring here and Eleanor would love to see you... Rob texted me an hour or so saying that he's left the clinic and now at the studio...so i'm rather lonely at the minute." Quietly she sighs. As much as i'd love to have Yasmin and Eleanor round, i can't allow them, not whilst i look like this. Things are just starting to get better between Yasmin and Robbie, and i can't be the one to stop all that... they have a little girl to think about, and Yasmin needs to be stress free whilst she's pregnant.
"Sorry love, but...the reason you can't come round is... because... er..." Carefully biting my lip, i tightly close my sore eyes. "...I'm going... i'm going to visit Mark." Silence fills the other end of the phone.
"Wow... really?"
As much as i'm trying to avoid socialising with Mark, the least i can do is show my face. Although i'm looking like some sort of zombie and it will only get him worried, at least i can get it all out of the way. "Yes... we've got a few things to sort out for the nursery... and i want to crack on with it as soon as we've had the scan done."
"That's great news, Gaz... i'm really proud of you... i know how tough things are, especially for you. Let me know how you get on?"
"Y...Yeah... of course, sweets... anyway... i better get off... i'm a little tired, so the sooner it's out of the way, the sooner i can come back for a kip." Throwing away the blood stained tissue, i make my way into the hallway for my keys and coat.
"Hope things go well for you both. Speak soon, tell Mark i send my love."
"I will do... see you later..." Ending the call, i slide my phone into my coat pocket. Walking to the front door, i glance at myself in the mirror. "Frankenstein Barlow..." Shrugging my shoulders, i release a sigh. "Well... here goes nothing."
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Mark's POV
Laying on my bed with my arms folded, i stare up at the ceiling as the tears continue to roll down my cheeks. He hurt Gary, he actually hurt him... doesn't he understand that Gary's been hurt enough?! Well...by me he has.
"Mister Owen?" Knocking on the door, stops my quiet crying.
"Go away." Releasing a moan, i roll onto my right hand side facing the wall.
The female clears her throat, ignoring my words. "...You have a visitor."
"Who is it?"
"He didn't give us a name... he just wanted to see you... it sounded urgent."
Shaking my head, i roll my eyes sarcastically. "I'm not seeing that twat ever again. I don't want Rob visiting me anymore, ok?"
"Erm...this...this isn't Mr Williams..."
Frowning my eyebrows, i sit up in bed as a confused look fills my face. "Who...who is it then? The lads aren't visiting until next week... and family isn't until tomorrow?"
"Would you like me to turn him away?" She asks, sounding just as confused as i am. Closing my eyes for a brief moment i make a decision.
"No... i'll come."
Walking down the corridor beside the nurse, out of nowhere i feel a slight heart racing moment for no reason what so ever. "Feeling alright?" A hand is placed onto my shoulder, causing me to flinch.
"Eh?! Oh...y..yeah...just nervous... i guess... it will probably just be paparazzi..." Rubbing my aching face, we continue to walk back towards the visiting area. Less people are in there than when Robbie arrived.
"If there's any problems, just let us know... ok?"
Managing to force out a friendly smile, i walk through the doors. Searching around the room, i bite my lip looking at the empty seats. "I...I don't get it...? Where's my visit-"
"Mark." A male Mancunian voice speaks in a low sounding tone. Instantly by hearing the voice i spin on my heels into the direction it came from. In surprise my jaw drops, as i blink my eyes once or twice. It can't be...? Is this real?
"G...Gary...?!"
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Gary's POV
Nervously Mark walks over to me, but stops in his tracks when he sees the artwork or should i say fist work, printed all over my face. "Oh... god... G...Gary..." He reaches out an unsteady hand towards my face, which i avoid by turning my cheek.
"Let's not go into it... that's not why i'm here." It feels weird speaking to him, let alone seeing him standing in front of me. The shock still fills Mark's face, probably over the fact that i'm actually here. "Sit down... if you like?" I point to the empty seat opposite me. Nodding his head, Mark quickly accepts my offer, trying to move as close as he can to the table. There's an awkwardness in the air, which prevents conversation to happen. What exactly can we talk about? We use to be so close... we use to be best friends for over a decade... we were even going to get married... and now... just look at us... two strangers sitting in front of one another.
"It's nice in here..." After 10 minutes i decide to break the silence, i've only got half an hour here so we might as well make the most of it, seeing as i might not be back to visit him again.
"Y...Yes... it is..." Playing with his fingers, Mark doesn't take his eyes off me, which makes me slightly uncomfortable, is he even blinking? Inhaling a deep breath, i place both of my hands flat onto the table.
"The reason i came here was... because... the scan is approaching... it's almost around the corner... so we need to discuss some things about the nursery."
Running his thumb along his jawline, he begins stroking the rough looking stubble. "...What do you have... in mind, Gaz...?"
"No... don't lay it all onto me... i've got enough stress going on in my life... i can't make all the decisions on my own... you have a mind of you own too." Once the words leave my mouth, i bite the tip of my tongue regretting it.
"I...S...Sorry..." He bows his head, disappointed in himself. Being here just over 10 minutes, i can see that he's started to punish himself over the slightest things... and i guess that's how he ended up here. It can't be easy for him either, even though he is the main cause that everything has ended up like this. For now i have to bite my tongue for the sake of our child.
"I was thinking about maybe turning the spare room into the studio, and having the studio room as the nursery? It will be much bigger for him or her, and space is what we're needing right now."
Mark scratches his head and nods in agreement to my plan. "To be honest... i was going to suggest that... but i wasn't entirely sure whether you would want that to happen? We do have quite a lot of equipment in there... unless you get rid of some of mine? I don't think i'll be needing it for a while, so it will just be left laying around."
"Maybe once you're out of here you can come round and sort exactly what you want to keep? I'll go through my lot too... i wont be needing my old cassettes... especially not from my stone age." My lips curl into a faint smile.
"Don't be daft... i'm sure little Gaz or Gazzie would love to hear your version of A Song For Christmas." Mark tries to hold back his laughter.
"Ay... and i'm sure they'd love the mullet an all!" Shaking my head, the smile remains as it begins to widen a little more.
"You're not going to give our baby a mullet Gaz!" He laughs, for the first time in what it feels like years, hearing Mark's laugh fills the pit of my stomach with warm. Gently Mark places his hands over mine, where he continues to smile at me. "...I can imagine him or her taking your hair...and smile... and eyes..." Happily he sighs. His dull looking eyes slowly turn into a faint sparkle.
Looking into Mark's eyes, the memories of the pair of us come running back into my mind. "...And your laugh... personality... charm...style... selflessness... and..." My throat becomes dry, as i gulp feeling as if i've swallowed razor blades, suddenly the moment of the night Laura came round sinks back into my mind. Pulling my hands out of contact from Mark's, i place them into my lap. He studies my face looking embarrassed over his actions.
"...It's getting late... and there's some things i've got to sort out..." Standing to my feet, i feel the ache in my body kick in from forcefully hitting the floor. Mark stands up almost in sync with me. "I'll drop you a text or something when we can sort things out... studio wise..."
"Will you be visiting again?!" Anxiously, Mark asks. Running my tongue against my gums, i lower my head avoiding his sense of puppy dog eyes.
"I'm not sure... i'm rather busy...It's been good seeing you."
"Oh... ok... yes... i really appreciate you coming, Gaz. Thank you." Lifting my head again, i notice his bottom lip start to tremble faintly.
"No problem... see you... at the scan then...?"
Tears enter Mark's eyes, as he forces out a smile to hide them. "C..Can't wait..."
"...I better get off then... stay safe..." As i turn to walk out of the door, a pair of arms tightly wrap under mine. Mark starts to cry softly against me, as his body shivers from the emotions.
"T...T...Thank you...for coming... it means... a... a lot..."
Wrapping a single arm around Mark's body, it stops shivering by my touch, as i return the hug for no longer than a second or two. "Goodnight..."
"...N...Night..." Shyly he wipes away his tears. "See you soon..." He remains standing at our empty table.
"Ye...Yeah.." Not wanting to stay in the room any longer, i quickly walk back out of the corridor and out towards the exit. Once i've scribbled my name on the piece of paper on the reception desk to check out, i sprint out of the exit, feeling the cold air make contact with my burning cheeks. Unable to hold them back any longer, the tears run from my eyes as i cup my face.
A loud buzzing sound wakes me up, instantly my eyes snap open. "Uhh..." Groaning whilst i stare up at the ceiling, i notice that i must of fallen asleep on the floor instead of the bed last night.
"Sir?" A female voice sounds outside of the door. "It's 9am. We've tried to ring you for your wake up call over an hour ago, but you must of unplugged the phone last night." Scrolling my eyes over my shoulder towards the phone, the wires have been forcefully pulled from the wall and the phone has been thrown across to the other side of the room. Oh dear.
"Y...Yeah...sorry...erm...thanks... i just need to get dressed and i'll be out of your hair." What the hell even happened last night? Using the back of my hand to wipe away the sleep from my eyes, a stinging pain prevents me from doing so. Looking down at my fist, the dry blood triggers my memory from last night's actions. Taking a deep breath, i get my stuff together leaving the hotel room to head back to the clinic to visit Mark.
Arriving at the clinic a little later than expected, i hurry through the doors towards the reception area. Once i've checked in, i slam open the visiting area's doors a little harder than intended, catching pretty much the entire room's attention. Mark sits alone at the other end of the room, slightly shaking his head as soon as he sees me. "S..Sorry...er..." Blushing majorly, i make my way over into Mark's direction. Today is just going to be a day full of bad luck... i can feel it. "Hiya mate." I grin down to the small weakened man, who remains in his seat with a blank expression on his face. "...I know... i'm late... traffic has been awful." Clearing my throat from my lie, i take the seat opposite him.
"...Or you forgot about me... which is more believable." Mark chews on the inside of his cheek. Staring at the older man's face, i notice the red rings around his eyes, possibly from the hours of crying previous.
"No Mark... never mate... so... how are you finding it? Made any new friends?"
"This isn't play school you know? I'm a grown man and i want to be treated like it more, ok?" Angrily he snaps at me. This isn't like Mark, the emotions running through him are creating a new attitude.
"Of course... i know... i didn't mean it like that."
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Mark inhales a deep breath. "No... i didn't mean that... it's just... being alone gives you more time to over think things... i haven't really spoken to anyone yet... apart from the woman who does the classes... they're pretty good... even if i avoid communication with the other members... i prefer to sit out of the way and just listen."
"Well it's good to hear that the classes are working... that's the main thing... and i'm proud that you're doing this Markie..." Gently i stroke the top of his hand, which i instantly regret, drawing away my bruised hand in a blink of an eye. Mark's eyes widen by the quick flash of it.
"W...What...what happened?"
Swallowing hard, i rattle my brain for yet another lie. "Huh?"
"Your hand? What happened?!" He takes my arm, resting my hand into his palm, so he can examine it properly.
"Oh... it's nothing... long story. Anyway... have you made any new friends yet?"
Mark blinks his eyes at me, refusing to release my hand. "You've already asked me that. Stop avoiding my question."
"It's nothing, it was just a moment of anger that's all. I punched a wall, end of."
"Liar." Mark mumbles under his breath, scanning my face causing me to feel even more guilty about the whole situation.
"I'm telling you the truth, i went to speak to Gary and i-"
"G...Gary...? You went to see Gary?" Backing away from me slightly, whilst remaining in his seat i can tell that he understands what really has happened.
"...Mark... it's not what you think..."
"You...you've hurt him... haven't you?" Gritting his teeth, as the tears build in his eyes he stumbles to his feet.
"Please...let me explain...Mark-" Reaching out my hand into his direction, i take hold of his arm. Mark looks up at me, as his body tenses from the anger.
"Don't fucking touch me. Don't ever... come and see me again. I hate you." Tugging off my grip he storms back towards his room.
"Mark! Please come back!?" I call after him, but it's no good. He's gone.
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Gary's POV
Holding the bundle of tissue against my nose, i stare at the torn, soggy pieces of paper on the table. It's ruined. Robbie's ruined the written side of Mark's life. All his and our memories gone, just like that. The blood continues to drip from my nose and lip. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, i understand why he did it and i don't blame him. My phone begins to ring, which knocks me out of my daydream. Pressing the accept button, i hold it against my ear, before speaking in a hoarse sounding voice. "H...Hello...?"
"Hiya hun, how're you?" A familiar voice sounds in my ear, which immediately brings a smile to my face.
"'ello Yaz... i'm not too bad, thanks, and yourself?" I lie.
"Just a bit tired, guess it's my hormones starting to kick in... are you up to anything today?"
"Any excuse." I laugh a little, which comes to a sudden stop, when i feel a twinge in my face. "...I was actually going to pop out... isn't Robbie back?" Dipping the edge of the tissue under the running tap, i gently stroke away the dry blood on my cheeks.
"Cheeky sod!... Oh... i was going to come round to yours? It's pretty boring here and Eleanor would love to see you... Rob texted me an hour or so saying that he's left the clinic and now at the studio...so i'm rather lonely at the minute." Quietly she sighs. As much as i'd love to have Yasmin and Eleanor round, i can't allow them, not whilst i look like this. Things are just starting to get better between Yasmin and Robbie, and i can't be the one to stop all that... they have a little girl to think about, and Yasmin needs to be stress free whilst she's pregnant.
"Sorry love, but...the reason you can't come round is... because... er..." Carefully biting my lip, i tightly close my sore eyes. "...I'm going... i'm going to visit Mark." Silence fills the other end of the phone.
"Wow... really?"
As much as i'm trying to avoid socialising with Mark, the least i can do is show my face. Although i'm looking like some sort of zombie and it will only get him worried, at least i can get it all out of the way. "Yes... we've got a few things to sort out for the nursery... and i want to crack on with it as soon as we've had the scan done."
"That's great news, Gaz... i'm really proud of you... i know how tough things are, especially for you. Let me know how you get on?"
"Y...Yeah... of course, sweets... anyway... i better get off... i'm a little tired, so the sooner it's out of the way, the sooner i can come back for a kip." Throwing away the blood stained tissue, i make my way into the hallway for my keys and coat.
"Hope things go well for you both. Speak soon, tell Mark i send my love."
"I will do... see you later..." Ending the call, i slide my phone into my coat pocket. Walking to the front door, i glance at myself in the mirror. "Frankenstein Barlow..." Shrugging my shoulders, i release a sigh. "Well... here goes nothing."
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Mark's POV
Laying on my bed with my arms folded, i stare up at the ceiling as the tears continue to roll down my cheeks. He hurt Gary, he actually hurt him... doesn't he understand that Gary's been hurt enough?! Well...by me he has.
"Mister Owen?" Knocking on the door, stops my quiet crying.
"Go away." Releasing a moan, i roll onto my right hand side facing the wall.
The female clears her throat, ignoring my words. "...You have a visitor."
"Who is it?"
"He didn't give us a name... he just wanted to see you... it sounded urgent."
Shaking my head, i roll my eyes sarcastically. "I'm not seeing that twat ever again. I don't want Rob visiting me anymore, ok?"
"Erm...this...this isn't Mr Williams..."
Frowning my eyebrows, i sit up in bed as a confused look fills my face. "Who...who is it then? The lads aren't visiting until next week... and family isn't until tomorrow?"
"Would you like me to turn him away?" She asks, sounding just as confused as i am. Closing my eyes for a brief moment i make a decision.
"No... i'll come."
Walking down the corridor beside the nurse, out of nowhere i feel a slight heart racing moment for no reason what so ever. "Feeling alright?" A hand is placed onto my shoulder, causing me to flinch.
"Eh?! Oh...y..yeah...just nervous... i guess... it will probably just be paparazzi..." Rubbing my aching face, we continue to walk back towards the visiting area. Less people are in there than when Robbie arrived.
"If there's any problems, just let us know... ok?"
Managing to force out a friendly smile, i walk through the doors. Searching around the room, i bite my lip looking at the empty seats. "I...I don't get it...? Where's my visit-"
"Mark." A male Mancunian voice speaks in a low sounding tone. Instantly by hearing the voice i spin on my heels into the direction it came from. In surprise my jaw drops, as i blink my eyes once or twice. It can't be...? Is this real?
"G...Gary...?!"
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Gary's POV
Nervously Mark walks over to me, but stops in his tracks when he sees the artwork or should i say fist work, printed all over my face. "Oh... god... G...Gary..." He reaches out an unsteady hand towards my face, which i avoid by turning my cheek.
"Let's not go into it... that's not why i'm here." It feels weird speaking to him, let alone seeing him standing in front of me. The shock still fills Mark's face, probably over the fact that i'm actually here. "Sit down... if you like?" I point to the empty seat opposite me. Nodding his head, Mark quickly accepts my offer, trying to move as close as he can to the table. There's an awkwardness in the air, which prevents conversation to happen. What exactly can we talk about? We use to be so close... we use to be best friends for over a decade... we were even going to get married... and now... just look at us... two strangers sitting in front of one another.
"It's nice in here..." After 10 minutes i decide to break the silence, i've only got half an hour here so we might as well make the most of it, seeing as i might not be back to visit him again.
"Y...Yes... it is..." Playing with his fingers, Mark doesn't take his eyes off me, which makes me slightly uncomfortable, is he even blinking? Inhaling a deep breath, i place both of my hands flat onto the table.
"The reason i came here was... because... the scan is approaching... it's almost around the corner... so we need to discuss some things about the nursery."
Running his thumb along his jawline, he begins stroking the rough looking stubble. "...What do you have... in mind, Gaz...?"
"No... don't lay it all onto me... i've got enough stress going on in my life... i can't make all the decisions on my own... you have a mind of you own too." Once the words leave my mouth, i bite the tip of my tongue regretting it.
"I...S...Sorry..." He bows his head, disappointed in himself. Being here just over 10 minutes, i can see that he's started to punish himself over the slightest things... and i guess that's how he ended up here. It can't be easy for him either, even though he is the main cause that everything has ended up like this. For now i have to bite my tongue for the sake of our child.
"I was thinking about maybe turning the spare room into the studio, and having the studio room as the nursery? It will be much bigger for him or her, and space is what we're needing right now."
Mark scratches his head and nods in agreement to my plan. "To be honest... i was going to suggest that... but i wasn't entirely sure whether you would want that to happen? We do have quite a lot of equipment in there... unless you get rid of some of mine? I don't think i'll be needing it for a while, so it will just be left laying around."
"Maybe once you're out of here you can come round and sort exactly what you want to keep? I'll go through my lot too... i wont be needing my old cassettes... especially not from my stone age." My lips curl into a faint smile.
"Don't be daft... i'm sure little Gaz or Gazzie would love to hear your version of A Song For Christmas." Mark tries to hold back his laughter.
"Ay... and i'm sure they'd love the mullet an all!" Shaking my head, the smile remains as it begins to widen a little more.
"You're not going to give our baby a mullet Gaz!" He laughs, for the first time in what it feels like years, hearing Mark's laugh fills the pit of my stomach with warm. Gently Mark places his hands over mine, where he continues to smile at me. "...I can imagine him or her taking your hair...and smile... and eyes..." Happily he sighs. His dull looking eyes slowly turn into a faint sparkle.
Looking into Mark's eyes, the memories of the pair of us come running back into my mind. "...And your laugh... personality... charm...style... selflessness... and..." My throat becomes dry, as i gulp feeling as if i've swallowed razor blades, suddenly the moment of the night Laura came round sinks back into my mind. Pulling my hands out of contact from Mark's, i place them into my lap. He studies my face looking embarrassed over his actions.
"...It's getting late... and there's some things i've got to sort out..." Standing to my feet, i feel the ache in my body kick in from forcefully hitting the floor. Mark stands up almost in sync with me. "I'll drop you a text or something when we can sort things out... studio wise..."
"Will you be visiting again?!" Anxiously, Mark asks. Running my tongue against my gums, i lower my head avoiding his sense of puppy dog eyes.
"I'm not sure... i'm rather busy...It's been good seeing you."
"Oh... ok... yes... i really appreciate you coming, Gaz. Thank you." Lifting my head again, i notice his bottom lip start to tremble faintly.
"No problem... see you... at the scan then...?"
Tears enter Mark's eyes, as he forces out a smile to hide them. "C..Can't wait..."
"...I better get off then... stay safe..." As i turn to walk out of the door, a pair of arms tightly wrap under mine. Mark starts to cry softly against me, as his body shivers from the emotions.
"T...T...Thank you...for coming... it means... a... a lot..."
Wrapping a single arm around Mark's body, it stops shivering by my touch, as i return the hug for no longer than a second or two. "Goodnight..."
"...N...Night..." Shyly he wipes away his tears. "See you soon..." He remains standing at our empty table.
"Ye...Yeah.." Not wanting to stay in the room any longer, i quickly walk back out of the corridor and out towards the exit. Once i've scribbled my name on the piece of paper on the reception desk to check out, i sprint out of the exit, feeling the cold air make contact with my burning cheeks. Unable to hold them back any longer, the tears run from my eyes as i cup my face.
Saturday, 8 February 2014
Chapter 34
Gary's POV
Wiping away an escaped tear in frustration, feeling furious over the entire situation i scrunch up the newspaper throwing it into the bin, before marching upstairs carrying a roll of bin bags to the bedroom. Slamming open the bedroom door i dart straight away towards the wardrobe. Taking handfuls of Mark's clothes, i stuff them into a black bag carelessly. "Make a mug out of me, you stupid inconsiderate arsehole!" Once all of his clothes are crammed messily into a black sack, my eyes glance over to the his Chester draws- we both had a set each seeing as we've got more clothing than needed. Doing the same as before, i scoop out his underwear and socks using another bag to drop them into again. The bottom drawers contain electricals and paper work which appears to be stuck. Placing my feet either side of the wooden draw, i take a tight grip to the handle, pulling backwards. "Urrrgh. Come on! Come on you bloody thing!" A loud crack sound is made, as the draw is freed causing me to fall forcefully onto my back. "Arrrgh fuck!" Slowly i sit up looking at the broken piece of wood in my hands. On the floor i'm surrounded by scattered pieces of paper and random wires. Underneath a pile of paperwork something catches my eye, a black rectangular journal which is locked by a small padlock. Searching around the floor i look for a key, nothing. Mark is a worrier and a thinker, inside could contain a whole bunch of his thoughts and secrets... it could also contain what exactly happened the night he cheated.
Standing to my feet i take the journal downstairs with me. Walking to the kitchen i search through the cupboards, until i come across what i'm looking for. A hammer. Sitting the journal onto the work top, i correctly position the hammer hovering over the padlock. Taking a deep breath and a shaky hand i hit the hammer as hard as i possibly can onto the lock several times, until finally it breaks off. Sickness swirls around my stomach seeing the broken metal on the stone tiled floor. Anything could be written in here, months, years even of lies. Carrying the journal into the living room i quickly pull the curtains closed incase Robbie and Mark arrive and see me, there's still no chance i'm going with them i'll just make out that i've gone shopping or something, but for the mean time i'm going to snoop through Mark's journal. Nervously opening the first page it surprisingly dates back to 1990 with the caption First day of the interview for the new band. Flicking through a few of the pages i come to another date 1994- Today is getting worse, Robbie and Gary are a loggerheads again over vocals. It's only a few more weeks until we hit 1995 and i can't see Take That being a band of brothers for much longer. Robbie's my best friend and Gary... well... i've mentioned already half way through this what Gary means to me, not that he'll ever think the same back, for starters he's not even gay... i've already been through the embarrassment of being turned down over a drink...to be honest i can actually see Gary walking out sometime soon to start a solo career... then what? He's not going to look back and he's not going to look twice at me, this time next year he will probably be married to some sort of model. Who knew that working in the music industry and falling head over heels for your best friend could lead to such a stressful life?' Inhaling a deep breath i skip through even more pages until the more recent ones. This is honest proof of how blind i use to be. All of a sudden there's a loud knock on my front door's glass.
Without giving it a seconds thought, i quickly flee over the top of the sofa tightly holding the book against my chest. Where did the time go?! They're here already! Another knock sounds, this time only louder, much louder. The only reason i'm hiding behind the sofa is, because even though the curtains are closed, knowing Robbie he will probably end up breaking the door down. There's silence suddenly at the front of the house. Peering my head over the top of the sofa, i glance through the very thin gap in the curtains. Robbie is on his knees looking through the letter box. A figure sits in the passenger seat of the car, with his hands cupped over his face. Promptly i hide back behind the sofa. I haven't seen Mark since the break up... seeing him now is only going to make things worse. God he looks awful... from the colour of his skin to the noticeable weight loss. "No Gary. Stop it!" I think to myself feeling frustrated that in some way i'm starting to feel sorry for Mark, after everything he has done.
"Gary? Are you awake? We need to go." Robbie speaks in a bitter tone through my letter box, sending the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on ends. "Gary! Open this fucking door before i drag you out. Don't you dare start playing games on a day like this!" Curling up with the sofa throw over, i nuzzle against the wall still hiding. i continue to read Mark's journal, refusing to move.
Robbie's POV
"GARY!" Using the sole of my shoe, i kick against the front door. "Open this god damn door Barlow!"
"Robbie!" A small high pitched voice calls behind me. "What are you doing?!" Looking over my shoulder, i notice Mark hanging out of the car window looking at me with nothing, but a pure look of worry filling his face. Great, if today isn't hard enough for him it's just got a whole lot harder. Taking one more look at the front door i shake my head in a disappointed way, before walking back up the pathway towards the car. "What's happened? Is...Is...he ok?" Not wanting to upset him anymore than he already is, i glance at his tear stained face whilst getting back into the car. "...He's...he's not...coming...is...is he?" Mark sniffs, i can feel his heart shatter all over again. Hopefully spending a month in this clinic it will do him some good... both of them, time is all they need, and i'm sure Gary will feel guilty after all of this especially once i've finished with him.
"...We better go... time's ticking and i want to make sure you'll be ok." Mark doesn't say a word or noise, instead he just fastens his seat belt, allowing his head to rest on his fist whilst we begin to pull away from the house.
After over an hour's worth of driving, we finally arrive at the clinic. It's the furthest i've driven seeing as it's just been over a week since i got my driver's license. In front is a posh looking building, it almost looks like an office crossed with a hotel, noticing the huge glass windows down one side. "Wow... look at this place... fancy living here myself!" Smiling gently over to Mark, he doesn't even bother looking, as he stays in the same position which he has stayed in during the entire journey here. "Mark...? Are you feeling ok? You're not car sick are you? You do look a little peaky..." Sympathetically i move a hand to the direction of his cheek, instantly he moves out of contact. Seeing Mark look and act like this only gets me even more angry with Gary, i might even pay him a visit on the way back home... "...I'll get your bags." Stepping out of the car, i open the boot of the car pulling out Mark's medium sized suit case along with some extra shoulder bags. Nervously, Mark helps himself out of the car using his crutches. His eyes immediately focus onto the building reading the words 'hospital' on a sign near the car. Closing his eyes for a brief moment he steadily breathes, allowing all this to sink in gradually. "...Ready?" Placing a supportive hand onto his back, i look at his surprisingly calm facial expression.
"Ready..."
Walking inside the electronic doors, we are greeted by a friendly looking lady who's smartly dressed behind the reception desk. "Ah.. you must be Mr Owen?" She reaches for a clip board, which she brings over to us. "I just need to sign a few things to show that you've signed into your room." Handing Mark a pen, we both stare at his vague looking face.
"Erm...Mark? You just need to sign those two pages, mate..." Wrapping an arm around his shoulder, i gently squeeze it.
"Y...Yeah... certainly." He carelessly signs his signature, before handing it back to the woman.
"Right... so now that's out the way i can happily take you to your room." She waves over a gentleman who's standing at the side of the reception desk, he walks over to us taking Mark's bags from me. The woman turns back over to me, as her smile fades. "I'm sorry sir... but visiting times are over, so you wont be able to come with us, but you're always welcome to ring and book appointments anytime you like within the visiting hours. If that's ok with Mr Owen we can arrange that straight away for you."
"Er...right...ok... well... i'll have to sort it out with my wife, but i'll be back tomorrow morning say around... 10am, if that's ok?"
"Of course. I'll pencil you down, as soon as we've taken Mr Owen to his room."
"It's...it's Mark..." Quietly he mumbles, as the colour begins to drain even more from his tired looking face, he notices an older looking man sat in a corner of the corridor being dragged away by some doctors.
"Sorry...Mark. We better get you taken to your room, dinner is almost ready and it looks as if you could do with a warm meal inside of you." She delicately places a hand onto his back, whilst guiding him towards the lift.
I'll... i'll be back to visit you tomorrow, Mark... i promise." Feeling sick seeing Mark weakly limp away from me, it almost feels like sending a child to school for the very first time with the amount of worry i'm feeling right now.
Taking a sharp intake of breath, i turn to the direction of the doors, at the same time dipping into my pocket for my car keys. Out of nowhere a loud scream from within the building catches my attention, causing me to freeze. "ROBBIE! ROBBIE! COME BACK PLEASE!"
"Mark?!" Running back inside, i notice Mark laying on the floor with his crutches either side of him.
"DON'T GO!" Loudly he cries, wrapping his arms around his head. "I NEED GARY! I Need him so badly..."
"...Mark..." Guilt runs through my body, as i crouch beside him. "Come here... everything is going to be ok..." Lifting his head towards my chest, i wrap my arms tightly around him, embracing him into a hug. "Everything will be ok... i promise..." Gently i kiss his sweaty forehead, as he breaks down in my arms. "Ssshh..."
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After an hour of trying to calm Mark down, i finally head home again... this time alone. Seeing Mark break down like that brings thoughts into my head, not just any kind of thoughts, but revenge seeking thoughts. Driving down Gary's road i park a few houses away from his. An image of Gary sitting comfortably at home watching tv, whilst laughing at what Mark's going through, begins to make my blood boil. Gary needs to be taught a lesson for what he's done too. On that note, i slam my car door shut, before marching back down the pathway to Gary's house. At first i knock in a normal mannered way. The curtains are still closed like they were hours ago i turned up here. There's no answer, so i decide to knock a little louder. A loud smash from inside the house sounds. Clearly he's in there and just avoiding me, well not for much longer he isn't going to. Stepping backwards slightly, my foot hits against the door trying to force it open. Three, four, five times i powerfully kick it, until it finally swings open. "GARY?! I know you're in here, i can almost smell the guilt coming off you." Noticing a shadow in the kitchen, i shuffle along the laminate pushes open the kitchen door. Gary releases a gasp whilst looking up at me from the table.
"Y...You're not allowed in here." Wiping away his tears he closes a small notebook on the table.
"Don't you fucking dare tell me what i can and can't do, not after what i've had to go through today. Do you know where i've just been?" Frowning my eyebrows at him, he avoids eye contact with me. "I'm talking to you! You very well know where i've been, but do you give a damn? Of course you don't, you self centred jerk!"
Sighing deeply, he cups his hands over his face. "H...How...did he take it?" He mumbles softly against his palms.
"How did he take it?! What do you mean how did he take it?! Did you expect him to happily skip through those doors? You brainless idiot. He broke down... over you, and you couldn't even be decent enough to come along to see him off. What kind of person are you? Was you born without a heart or something?!"
"He...He cheated on me... how else am i suppose to act?"
"So he made a mistake which he clearly regrets. Take a good look in the mirror and remember that you was once in his position... with my wife. You're nothing but a hypocrite."
Gary lifts his head laughing slightly. "You're actually comparing the pair of us? Are you forgetting he's got a son after his quickie, eh? The further away he is the better."
"Wow... you really are a heartless prick aren't you? You almost ended up getting a child too after your affair. At least Mark's was just a shameful, drunken one night stand. Yours was on going, lying through your teeth just for a sex wasn't it? AND in my bed! So don't you dare."
"Oh yeah? And what are you going to do. Just because you've lost your family doesn't mean you should come and interfer with mine." Not saying a word, i just stare at his smug looking face. "...S'up Rob...? Cat got your tongue? You really think Eleanor wants to have a father like you in her life? As soon as she's understanding more about you... she'll be happy to get rid of her lying, cheating, scumbag of a fath-" Gary forcefully hits the floor, as my fist crashes against his jaw.
"Oh yeah?! You wanna say that again, do you?" Grabbing hold of Gary's shirt, i push him with all my energy against the wall. "He poured his heart out to me again today. Over some waste of space like you!" Pulling back my fist again, i hit it serveral times into Gary's face
"GET OFF ME!" Yelling loudly, Gary tries to protect his face from my punches. Throwing him onto the floor again, i straddle his lap gripping to his head.
"Do you understand what he's going through?! He might of been the one who cheated and i don't bloody blame him!" Hitting my hand across his face, a loud slapping sound echoes around the kitchen from the flesh on flesh. "You broke his ribs, you tore out his heart and now you're threating to take his unborn child from him?!" Holding either side of Gary's head, i slam it against the floor.
"ROBBIE PLEASE!" Gary begs, as he coughs loudly from the blood coming from his mouth.
"God help you if you don't visit him in that clinic... it wont just be a light beating next time..." Standing to my feet i notice the notebook still resting on the table. Gary lays weakly on the floor, still coughing. Reaching for the notebook i angrily toss it into the filled soapy sink.
"N...N...nooooo!" He holds his hand out into the direction of the sink which is just inches away.
"Remember what i've said, yeah? Scum." I shake my head taking a look at the messy body laying in front of me. Saying nothing else i spit in his face, before walking away.
Wiping away an escaped tear in frustration, feeling furious over the entire situation i scrunch up the newspaper throwing it into the bin, before marching upstairs carrying a roll of bin bags to the bedroom. Slamming open the bedroom door i dart straight away towards the wardrobe. Taking handfuls of Mark's clothes, i stuff them into a black bag carelessly. "Make a mug out of me, you stupid inconsiderate arsehole!" Once all of his clothes are crammed messily into a black sack, my eyes glance over to the his Chester draws- we both had a set each seeing as we've got more clothing than needed. Doing the same as before, i scoop out his underwear and socks using another bag to drop them into again. The bottom drawers contain electricals and paper work which appears to be stuck. Placing my feet either side of the wooden draw, i take a tight grip to the handle, pulling backwards. "Urrrgh. Come on! Come on you bloody thing!" A loud crack sound is made, as the draw is freed causing me to fall forcefully onto my back. "Arrrgh fuck!" Slowly i sit up looking at the broken piece of wood in my hands. On the floor i'm surrounded by scattered pieces of paper and random wires. Underneath a pile of paperwork something catches my eye, a black rectangular journal which is locked by a small padlock. Searching around the floor i look for a key, nothing. Mark is a worrier and a thinker, inside could contain a whole bunch of his thoughts and secrets... it could also contain what exactly happened the night he cheated.
Standing to my feet i take the journal downstairs with me. Walking to the kitchen i search through the cupboards, until i come across what i'm looking for. A hammer. Sitting the journal onto the work top, i correctly position the hammer hovering over the padlock. Taking a deep breath and a shaky hand i hit the hammer as hard as i possibly can onto the lock several times, until finally it breaks off. Sickness swirls around my stomach seeing the broken metal on the stone tiled floor. Anything could be written in here, months, years even of lies. Carrying the journal into the living room i quickly pull the curtains closed incase Robbie and Mark arrive and see me, there's still no chance i'm going with them i'll just make out that i've gone shopping or something, but for the mean time i'm going to snoop through Mark's journal. Nervously opening the first page it surprisingly dates back to 1990 with the caption First day of the interview for the new band. Flicking through a few of the pages i come to another date 1994- Today is getting worse, Robbie and Gary are a loggerheads again over vocals. It's only a few more weeks until we hit 1995 and i can't see Take That being a band of brothers for much longer. Robbie's my best friend and Gary... well... i've mentioned already half way through this what Gary means to me, not that he'll ever think the same back, for starters he's not even gay... i've already been through the embarrassment of being turned down over a drink...to be honest i can actually see Gary walking out sometime soon to start a solo career... then what? He's not going to look back and he's not going to look twice at me, this time next year he will probably be married to some sort of model. Who knew that working in the music industry and falling head over heels for your best friend could lead to such a stressful life?' Inhaling a deep breath i skip through even more pages until the more recent ones. This is honest proof of how blind i use to be. All of a sudden there's a loud knock on my front door's glass.
Without giving it a seconds thought, i quickly flee over the top of the sofa tightly holding the book against my chest. Where did the time go?! They're here already! Another knock sounds, this time only louder, much louder. The only reason i'm hiding behind the sofa is, because even though the curtains are closed, knowing Robbie he will probably end up breaking the door down. There's silence suddenly at the front of the house. Peering my head over the top of the sofa, i glance through the very thin gap in the curtains. Robbie is on his knees looking through the letter box. A figure sits in the passenger seat of the car, with his hands cupped over his face. Promptly i hide back behind the sofa. I haven't seen Mark since the break up... seeing him now is only going to make things worse. God he looks awful... from the colour of his skin to the noticeable weight loss. "No Gary. Stop it!" I think to myself feeling frustrated that in some way i'm starting to feel sorry for Mark, after everything he has done.
"Gary? Are you awake? We need to go." Robbie speaks in a bitter tone through my letter box, sending the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on ends. "Gary! Open this fucking door before i drag you out. Don't you dare start playing games on a day like this!" Curling up with the sofa throw over, i nuzzle against the wall still hiding. i continue to read Mark's journal, refusing to move.
Robbie's POV
"GARY!" Using the sole of my shoe, i kick against the front door. "Open this god damn door Barlow!"
"Robbie!" A small high pitched voice calls behind me. "What are you doing?!" Looking over my shoulder, i notice Mark hanging out of the car window looking at me with nothing, but a pure look of worry filling his face. Great, if today isn't hard enough for him it's just got a whole lot harder. Taking one more look at the front door i shake my head in a disappointed way, before walking back up the pathway towards the car. "What's happened? Is...Is...he ok?" Not wanting to upset him anymore than he already is, i glance at his tear stained face whilst getting back into the car. "...He's...he's not...coming...is...is he?" Mark sniffs, i can feel his heart shatter all over again. Hopefully spending a month in this clinic it will do him some good... both of them, time is all they need, and i'm sure Gary will feel guilty after all of this especially once i've finished with him.
"...We better go... time's ticking and i want to make sure you'll be ok." Mark doesn't say a word or noise, instead he just fastens his seat belt, allowing his head to rest on his fist whilst we begin to pull away from the house.
After over an hour's worth of driving, we finally arrive at the clinic. It's the furthest i've driven seeing as it's just been over a week since i got my driver's license. In front is a posh looking building, it almost looks like an office crossed with a hotel, noticing the huge glass windows down one side. "Wow... look at this place... fancy living here myself!" Smiling gently over to Mark, he doesn't even bother looking, as he stays in the same position which he has stayed in during the entire journey here. "Mark...? Are you feeling ok? You're not car sick are you? You do look a little peaky..." Sympathetically i move a hand to the direction of his cheek, instantly he moves out of contact. Seeing Mark look and act like this only gets me even more angry with Gary, i might even pay him a visit on the way back home... "...I'll get your bags." Stepping out of the car, i open the boot of the car pulling out Mark's medium sized suit case along with some extra shoulder bags. Nervously, Mark helps himself out of the car using his crutches. His eyes immediately focus onto the building reading the words 'hospital' on a sign near the car. Closing his eyes for a brief moment he steadily breathes, allowing all this to sink in gradually. "...Ready?" Placing a supportive hand onto his back, i look at his surprisingly calm facial expression.
"Ready..."
Walking inside the electronic doors, we are greeted by a friendly looking lady who's smartly dressed behind the reception desk. "Ah.. you must be Mr Owen?" She reaches for a clip board, which she brings over to us. "I just need to sign a few things to show that you've signed into your room." Handing Mark a pen, we both stare at his vague looking face.
"Erm...Mark? You just need to sign those two pages, mate..." Wrapping an arm around his shoulder, i gently squeeze it.
"Y...Yeah... certainly." He carelessly signs his signature, before handing it back to the woman.
"Right... so now that's out the way i can happily take you to your room." She waves over a gentleman who's standing at the side of the reception desk, he walks over to us taking Mark's bags from me. The woman turns back over to me, as her smile fades. "I'm sorry sir... but visiting times are over, so you wont be able to come with us, but you're always welcome to ring and book appointments anytime you like within the visiting hours. If that's ok with Mr Owen we can arrange that straight away for you."
"Er...right...ok... well... i'll have to sort it out with my wife, but i'll be back tomorrow morning say around... 10am, if that's ok?"
"Of course. I'll pencil you down, as soon as we've taken Mr Owen to his room."
"It's...it's Mark..." Quietly he mumbles, as the colour begins to drain even more from his tired looking face, he notices an older looking man sat in a corner of the corridor being dragged away by some doctors.
"Sorry...Mark. We better get you taken to your room, dinner is almost ready and it looks as if you could do with a warm meal inside of you." She delicately places a hand onto his back, whilst guiding him towards the lift.
I'll... i'll be back to visit you tomorrow, Mark... i promise." Feeling sick seeing Mark weakly limp away from me, it almost feels like sending a child to school for the very first time with the amount of worry i'm feeling right now.
Taking a sharp intake of breath, i turn to the direction of the doors, at the same time dipping into my pocket for my car keys. Out of nowhere a loud scream from within the building catches my attention, causing me to freeze. "ROBBIE! ROBBIE! COME BACK PLEASE!"
"Mark?!" Running back inside, i notice Mark laying on the floor with his crutches either side of him.
"DON'T GO!" Loudly he cries, wrapping his arms around his head. "I NEED GARY! I Need him so badly..."
"...Mark..." Guilt runs through my body, as i crouch beside him. "Come here... everything is going to be ok..." Lifting his head towards my chest, i wrap my arms tightly around him, embracing him into a hug. "Everything will be ok... i promise..." Gently i kiss his sweaty forehead, as he breaks down in my arms. "Ssshh..."
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After an hour of trying to calm Mark down, i finally head home again... this time alone. Seeing Mark break down like that brings thoughts into my head, not just any kind of thoughts, but revenge seeking thoughts. Driving down Gary's road i park a few houses away from his. An image of Gary sitting comfortably at home watching tv, whilst laughing at what Mark's going through, begins to make my blood boil. Gary needs to be taught a lesson for what he's done too. On that note, i slam my car door shut, before marching back down the pathway to Gary's house. At first i knock in a normal mannered way. The curtains are still closed like they were hours ago i turned up here. There's no answer, so i decide to knock a little louder. A loud smash from inside the house sounds. Clearly he's in there and just avoiding me, well not for much longer he isn't going to. Stepping backwards slightly, my foot hits against the door trying to force it open. Three, four, five times i powerfully kick it, until it finally swings open. "GARY?! I know you're in here, i can almost smell the guilt coming off you." Noticing a shadow in the kitchen, i shuffle along the laminate pushes open the kitchen door. Gary releases a gasp whilst looking up at me from the table.
"Y...You're not allowed in here." Wiping away his tears he closes a small notebook on the table.
"Don't you fucking dare tell me what i can and can't do, not after what i've had to go through today. Do you know where i've just been?" Frowning my eyebrows at him, he avoids eye contact with me. "I'm talking to you! You very well know where i've been, but do you give a damn? Of course you don't, you self centred jerk!"
Sighing deeply, he cups his hands over his face. "H...How...did he take it?" He mumbles softly against his palms.
"How did he take it?! What do you mean how did he take it?! Did you expect him to happily skip through those doors? You brainless idiot. He broke down... over you, and you couldn't even be decent enough to come along to see him off. What kind of person are you? Was you born without a heart or something?!"
"He...He cheated on me... how else am i suppose to act?"
"So he made a mistake which he clearly regrets. Take a good look in the mirror and remember that you was once in his position... with my wife. You're nothing but a hypocrite."
Gary lifts his head laughing slightly. "You're actually comparing the pair of us? Are you forgetting he's got a son after his quickie, eh? The further away he is the better."
"Wow... you really are a heartless prick aren't you? You almost ended up getting a child too after your affair. At least Mark's was just a shameful, drunken one night stand. Yours was on going, lying through your teeth just for a sex wasn't it? AND in my bed! So don't you dare."
"Oh yeah? And what are you going to do. Just because you've lost your family doesn't mean you should come and interfer with mine." Not saying a word, i just stare at his smug looking face. "...S'up Rob...? Cat got your tongue? You really think Eleanor wants to have a father like you in her life? As soon as she's understanding more about you... she'll be happy to get rid of her lying, cheating, scumbag of a fath-" Gary forcefully hits the floor, as my fist crashes against his jaw.
"Oh yeah?! You wanna say that again, do you?" Grabbing hold of Gary's shirt, i push him with all my energy against the wall. "He poured his heart out to me again today. Over some waste of space like you!" Pulling back my fist again, i hit it serveral times into Gary's face
"GET OFF ME!" Yelling loudly, Gary tries to protect his face from my punches. Throwing him onto the floor again, i straddle his lap gripping to his head.
"Do you understand what he's going through?! He might of been the one who cheated and i don't bloody blame him!" Hitting my hand across his face, a loud slapping sound echoes around the kitchen from the flesh on flesh. "You broke his ribs, you tore out his heart and now you're threating to take his unborn child from him?!" Holding either side of Gary's head, i slam it against the floor.
"ROBBIE PLEASE!" Gary begs, as he coughs loudly from the blood coming from his mouth.
"God help you if you don't visit him in that clinic... it wont just be a light beating next time..." Standing to my feet i notice the notebook still resting on the table. Gary lays weakly on the floor, still coughing. Reaching for the notebook i angrily toss it into the filled soapy sink.
"N...N...nooooo!" He holds his hand out into the direction of the sink which is just inches away.
"Remember what i've said, yeah? Scum." I shake my head taking a look at the messy body laying in front of me. Saying nothing else i spit in his face, before walking away.
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