Mark's POV
Robbie's words ring around my ears, as we all just sit there in silence. Collecting my thoughts surprisingly i act calm... for now. I nod my head whilst pressing my lips together, looking at Robbie who has his hands still over the tops of Yasmin's shoulders. "Suicide rehab, eh? Who'd thought Mark Owen would wind up there? Well... i guess that's what fame... and love does to you... anyway... i'd love to sit around and chat, but i'm rather tired... besides tomorrow will be a busy day... packing for rehab whenever i'm due to get my cuffs snapped on before i go there... g'night." Doing nothing more, i reach for my crutches whilst standing to my feet. Both Robbie and Yasmin look surprised over my calm reaction.
"Erm...b...bed?" Worry sounds in Robbie's voice. Peering my head back around the kitchen door, i grin lightly.
"Don't worry pal, i'm not gonna hang myself out of the bedroom window or try and drown myself in the toilet. I'm going to bed. Night." Without saying another word, that's where i go, but of course not to sleep. After staggering carefully back upstairs to 'my bedroom' i close the door, before reaching for my phone from the bedside table. Punching a few digits into my mobile, i hit call in an agitated way. Annoyed with myself i hoped it wouldn't happen, as i forcefully try to hold the tears back whilst the mobile rings.
"Uhh...h...he...hello?" A tired sounding voice answers the phone. All of a sudden my throat tightens again, as the tears flood from my eyes. "M...Mark? Is that you?!"
"H...H...Howard?" Heavily i sob, wrapping the duvet weakly over my shoulders.
"Mate... it's 3:00am... what is it?" Howard speaks in a much more deeper voice.
"C...can... you meet me...tomorrow...please?"
Howard clears his throat, and the phone is blocked by silence for a minute or two. "T...tomorrow...? Erm...i can't mate...i promised to go and visit...er...Gaz..."
"P...Please...Howard... i'm begging you... i haven't got anyone else... Jay's in Manchester... Gary hates me...and....and..-"
"What about Robbie?" Speaking in a concerned voice now, i can imagine him sitting up in bed with a worried look plastered all over his face.
"T...they're...sending me away... to...to... a suicide rehab...clinic...i...i'm...so scared..." More and more tears drip down my cheeks, as i hide my face into my pillow, trying to silence my cries.
"Oh...Jesus... right...ok... we seriously need to talk mate, and i'm not leaving you in such a state... er... meet me in the cafe down town at about... 9am? Is that ok?" Breathing a little slower, i dry my tears on my duvet feeling a little relived.
"Y...Yes...t...thank you... see you tomorrow..."
"See you tomorrow, Markie."
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Combing my hair in the bedroom mirror, i stare at myself, my much older and weaker self. I feel like an old man, especially with these crutches. A fist quietly knocks against the wooden bedroom door catching my attention. "Come in..." Mumbling under my breath, i reach for my trilby which sits on the bed's headboard.
"Wow... you're up early...?" Robbie peers around the bedroom door still wearing his dressing robe and pj bottoms.
"Yeah... i'm off out."
"Oh...off anywhere nice?"
Shrugging my shoulders, i neatly perch my trilby on my flopping fringe. "Meeting Howard for a coffee... just to have a catch up... before he goes to see Gaz later."
"Are you going to see Gary with him?"
Frowning my eyebrows, i sarcastically laugh at him. "Me going to see Gary? Yeah, that's such a great idea isn't it? I'm feeling completely shit right now, and me going to his to hear him tell me how much he regrets us is really going to help isn't it?"
"But... he does want to see you... i mean he wouldn't of agreed to come with us tomorrow would he?"
"Tomorrow? What's tomorrow?" I ask in a confused tone, whilst slipping on my jacket followed by my boots.
"Er... i'm taking you to the...clinic... Gary agreed to come too..." It feels like my heart has been repeatably stabbed. He's taking me to the clinic tomorrow?! Already? It hasn't even sunk in yet. I wish i did drown in the bath last night, at least i wouldn't have to go through this as well.
"...I'm going to be late... see you in a couple of hours..."
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Howard's POV
I sit at the end table of the cafe nursing a coffee. Things between Mark and Gary seem to be going from bad to worse. First Mark finding out he has a son, to Gary beating Mark up over it all and now we find out Mark is going to a suicide clinic. I never would of thought my two best mates would be suffering so much, and now i feel completely helpless. "Please... just leave me alone..." A saddened, broken voice catches my attention. Limping in the cafe, is Mark, who is fussing over a couple of paparazzi snapping a few photos of the hurting man.
"Mark?" I call standing up, waving him over. As soon as he sees me, he lets go of the door, and quickly makes his way over to me using his crutches. "Are they causing you trouble?!"
"N...N..no nothing i can't handle..." Placing his crutches down, Mark pulls me into a tight friendly hug. "Thank you so much for coming, Dougie... i really do appreciate it."
"Hey... it's no bother...honest... it's the least i can do..." Pulling away slightly from the hug, i take a good long look at him. I haven't seen him in a while, so his bruised face and injuries are new to me. "Oh...Mark..." The colour has drained from his skin, leaving behind a pale looking man who has seemed to have aged from this stressful time.
"Yeah...i know... i look a mess..." Carefully he sits down, gritting his teeth whilst holding his ribs.
"No mate... you're not a mess... it's understandable with all the stress you're going through... here... drink this..." I hand him his strong, black cappuccino.
Mark sips from his mug, whilst forcing out a smile. "Thank you..."
"How have you been keeping? Still staying at Rob's?"
"Yeah... they've been good to me...even if they have been planning stuff behind my back."
"What made they get that idea though? I mean... you... in a suicide clinic? I don't get it?" Once the words leave my mouth, a couple of middle aged women turn around to look at us, who are sat behind Mark. "....What happened, Mark?" Lowering my voice now, i move a little closer to him.
"Things are getting hard, you know?" Softly he sighs running his hands over his face. "...Real hard... i've lost the love of my life... he was even thinking about being a single Dad... can you blame me? I'm not feeling sorry for myself... i understand he's hurting for what i did, but i need Gary back in my life... so bad... i've never experienced such pain, as i did through losing Gary. I tried to drown myself in the bath last night...a way to end it all and give Gary a better life with me gone."
Stunned by what Mark's just told me, i try to collect my thoughts as quickly as possible, so it doesn't look like i'm judging him. "Mark... listen... if anything was to happen to you... it would break Gary completely... i know all this is killing him inside, but deep down he still loves you. It's just going to take a lot of time and effort which will eventually pay off... and i guess once the baby is born you'll start to work together... and who knows what could happen from there... just don't give up Mark..." Gently i stroke the top of his hand showing him he has my support too.
"...Rob said Gary is coming tomorrow..."
"Tomorrow? What's happening tomorrow?" I ask whilst sipping my coffee, still noticing the women looking at the pair of us out the corner of their eyes.
"The clinic..."
Surprised by Mark's response, i almost end up choking on my coffee. "Tomorrow?! What? How long have you known that you was going to go there?"
"...Since last night... when i rang you... and Rob told me this morning before i came here... that we're going tomorrow..."
"Bloody hell... he loves surprises does our Rob, doesn't he? Wow...and Gary's taking you too?"
Slightly he nods, not completely sure with the state of mind he's in. "Apparently so... unless it's just a way to get me to go quietly... tomorrow will show the truth..."
"Have you spoken to Gary since... you know?"
"I rang him on Yasmin's phone yesterday... but as soon as he knew it was me he couldn't of ended the call quick enough, so i don't know... all i can do is to be there for our baby... and to be there for when ever Gary needs me... no matter what has happened... i'm not giving up on him...ever..."
"That's what i like to hear..." Softly i smile at him, noticing the women start to make their way over to our table.
"Oh my god... you're Mark and Howard from Take That!" They smile at the pair of us, before shoving one of our albums under our noses to sign.
"Listen ladies... right now isn't the-"
"Hiya... how are you girls?" Mark forces out a grin, whilst signing both of their albums. "Sorry... i can't take photos right now... and besides i don't think you'd want a photo with me looking like this... but as soon as i'm better again i promise to owe you both a photo." He hands me the albums to sign too.
"Thank you! Thank you!" Widely they smile at both of us retrieving their now signed albums. "Send our love to Gary! It's fantastic news about the baby and engagement... really made up for you both! See you later too Howard." On that note, they disappear out of the door.
"Yeah... i'll tell him..." Quietly Mark whispers under his breath downing his coffee.
Shaking my head i look at him. "How do you do it?"
"Do what?"
"Pretend like everything's ok? Do people know Gary's the one who beat you up?"
"Years of practise... years... and no... of course not... only you, Robbie, Yasmin and Gary of course... i don't want people to make out like Gary's some sort of monster... i honestly don't blame him for what he's done... it's a shame he didn't do it hard enough..."
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{Not sleeping a wink of sleep, Mark begins to pack for his month's worth of rehab. It's not long to go for them to leave to go and pick Gary up, so they can set off to the clinic, just the three of them.}
Gary's POV
Walking downstairs wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around my waist, i walk down towards the front door. Why did i ever agree to take Mark to the clinic with Robbie? What on earth was i thinking?! Rubbing the soap from my eyes i reach outside for the newspaper, which is curled up on the front doorstep. I guess with Mark going to the clinic it will give us time apart, and with me going for the journey at least he'll actually leave. Pouring the hot water into my mug i make myself a strong coffee in the kitchen, before sitting at the table with the newspaper. Taking a sip of the steaming liquid, within a few seconds it ends up being spat across the kitchen table, but surprisingly not because it's hot. Blinking my eyes a few times i re read the bold words printed on the front of the newspaper. "TAKE THAT! - Mark Owen takes a beating from current Boyfriend Gary Barlow, and is later this evening said to be checking into a Suicide rehab clinic. For full story read pages 4,5 and 6." My jaw drops in shock, utter shock. How could he?! On the front shows a large photo of Mark looking emotionally drained being supported by crutches. His eyes almost stare into mine filling me with nothing, but hurt and pain. He spoke to journalists about this? Why would he do this?! Anger fills my body, does he actually thinks that i'm going to speak to him let alone go this evening with him after this?! Well he's got another thing coming! Picking up my mug i end up throwing it across the kitchen until it smashes against the nearby wall. "Bastard!" Loudly i shout. This just makes things ten times worse if that's even possible. Did he really think journalists were a shoulder for him to cry on?! Brainless, brainless man!
My phone begins to vibrate. Incoming call - Rob. "Fuck that." I mumble tossing it onto the table. He's nothing to me, absolutely nothing. He gets to go off sleeping with god knows who behind my back, then ends up having a son, yet it all seems to be my fault? Poor innocent baby faced Mark Owen, not stepping one foot out of line, and who gets beaten by big bad Gary. Great life isn't it? And if he thinks he's going to be involved with this baby, he doesn't have a chance... as soon as he or she is born, we're gone. Far, far away from here without a trace.
Wednesday, 29 January 2014
Thursday, 23 January 2014
chapter 32
Robbie's POV
For the first time, Gary doesn't have words pouring out from his mouth, instead he just stands holding onto the door avoiding eye contact with me. "...Well...can i come in? So we can discuss this?"
"I don't think i have a choice... do i...? You're not going to leave..."
Rising my eyebrows i nod my head slightly. "Blimey... after all these years you're finally starting to know what i'm like..."
Gary fiddles with the lock on the door, once unlocked he stands aside allowing me entry. In front of me stands a middle aged man, dressed in a plain white t shirt and blue striped shorts, and with no surprise he's lost weight since the last time i saw him. "I'll put the kettle on..." He guides me to the living room, before disappearing into the kitchen. With Gary out of sight, it gives me time to have a quick nose around. It's obvious that he's taken a few photographs down, noticing the nails in the wall with nothing hanging off them. Sliding my hand along the fireplace i come across a framed photograph, of the band from last year during rehearsals. Me, Jay, Howard, Gary and M-... It appears that the space beside Gary doesn't contain another person, but I'm sure Mark was there that day? Squinting my eyes carefully at the photo, i notice an arm wrapped around Gary's waist. Looking at the rest of our hands it's clear that it doesn't belong to any of the three of us, as our hands are visible and nowhere near Gary's waist. He's cut Mark off? "Looking for something?" A voice speaks, almost causing me to drop the photo frame.
"E...Erm...n..no was...just looking." Neatly i place it back onto the fireplace, before sitting back down onto the sofa, like a school boy avoiding a telling off for snooping. Gary looks over at the photograph whilst handing me my mug.
"Was thinking about having a change about around here... could do with a clear out...and decorating..."
"Just painting?"
Gary shrugs his shoulders. "Got stuff i need to get rid of first... or maybe just move house and start a fresh, you know?" Even though he doesn't say it, i know exactly what 'stuff' he needs to get rid of.
"Maybe it's not a good idea to make big decisions before the baby is born... he or she is going to need support from both Dad's-"
"No. I can do this..."
Staring shocked at Gary, i carefully place my mug onto the coffee table in front of me. "You're not suggesting that you're going to be a single Dad, right?"
"Maybe... i'm just thinking what's best for my little one."
"Gaz... it's yours and Mark's baby... he needs you right now himself... the baby isn't a toy."
Gary laughs whilst shaking his head. "And what do you know, eh? You're no Dad of the year either, so no offence, but don't dish out advice to me when you can't even follow it yourself." Gritting my teeth by his comment, i try my best to ignore it. For Mark and the baby's sake.
"Right... well...anyway... the reason i came here was to ask for your support... are you willing to help or am i wasting my time here asking?"
"I think you know the answer to that one."
"Gary, he tried to drown himself tonight... doesn't that do anything to you? He's been your friend for the past 20 or so years... you were going to get married to this man... surly you feel something?" A more serious look forms onto Gary's face now, as he breathes in a sharp intake of breath.
"...Well he's not the only one..." Quietly he mumbles, whilst twiddling his thumbs together.
"What do you mean with that?"
"Just saying... he's not the only one... who feels that way about all of this... simplest way out..." Swallowing hard, Gary walks into the kitchen again. For a few seconds of thinking, it finally then hits me. Gary's tried to kill himself too? Jesus.
"Gary... wait." Walking into the kitchen, he stands leaned against the sink with his back to me. "I know how hard this is... i've been in your position... but... that isn't the answer... that's why we're going to get Mark help... for the sake of both of yours child...and your relationship... together you can do this, but you both have to be strong... he needs you mate...more than ever... the only way we can help him, is with you being there...please? I know we're not the best of friends after our colourful history, but he's my best friend and i wouldn't be asking if i wasn't desperate... please come with us to the clinic on Wednesday." The kitchen is filled with silence. Gary still remains in the same position, bowing his head whilst collecting his thoughts. "...Gary?"
Softly he sniffs, whilst wiping his face with the back of his hand. "O...ok..." Slowly he turns round, showing me his reddened face, just like he's been crying...
"Ok?"
Sighing deeply with his eyes closed, already i can tell he's regretting it. "I...I...I'll come..."
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Mark's POV
Loudly the front door closes disturbing me from my sleep. Rubbing my eyes i glance over at my phone for the time- 2:03 am. Who would be coming home at this time of night? Voices mumble downstairs which catches my attention. Very quietly i reach for my crutches which rest at the side of the bed, almost tip toeing i make my way to the top of the stairs. "Did you speak to, Gaz? And i do mean speak, not punch." Instantly, by hearing Gary's name, my heart begins to race in my chest.
"Yeah... we had a good chat actually..." Robbie's voice sounds slightly muffled. I need to hear this. Sliding down the stairs on my bum with my crutches in one hand, i sit on the bottom step with my head peering around the stair railing, enough for me to see two figures in the kitchen.
"What did he say?"
"...Not much really... resisted at first... but once i got inside we slowly started to talk more. He's lost weight and doesn't look 100% healthy himself. He's even talking about decorating, having a complete house makeover... or he's thinking about moving house..."
Yasmin looks at Robbie surprised. "What?! No he can't! What about the baby?!"
"...Well... that's another thing we discussed... he said the best thing for the baby... is if he's the one to look after it... just him... it's his baby..." It feels like my heart has sunk to the bottom of my chest hearing that. I've really ruined everything now.
"Oh gosh... poor Mark..."
Robbie walks over to Yasmin, placing his hand onto her back showing support. "But i told him he couldn't... not without Mark, they all need one another for this family to work, and right now Mark needs his support whilst going to this clinic." Has someone just thrown a brick into my face? Because that's what it feels like! They're sending me to a clinic?! I rarely get angry, but right now i'm fuming! Standing up on my crutches, the best i can, i march into the kitchen. The chatter instantly dies, by the sight of me slamming open the kitchen door.
"Oh...hiya mate... how are you feeling?" Robbie peers up, with his hands still firmly rested on Yasmin's shoulders.
"Don't 'oh hiya mate' me! What's this about a clinic?! I'm not back on the booze before you say."
"Mark, just stay calm... it's not for the booze... it's because we're concerned... we all are..." Sadly Yasmin looks up at me, with a face full of sympathy.
Shaking my head with annoyance, i look at the pair of them. "You don't need to be concerned about me, i'm a grown man i don't need help. If it's not for the booze, then what for? And why did you go to Gary's for? You better not of laid one finger on him Rob, because if you have...believe me you'll regret it!"
"Mark, please...take a seat..." Robbie walks over to one of the spare chairs at the table, pulling it back for me to sit down on. Watching the serious look on his face, for now i decide to do as he says.
"I'm listening...?"
Yasmin looks up at Robbie, giving him a slight nod. "Mark...erm...Me and Yasmin have been talking...and...well... tonight really threw us off guard... the whole bath thing and-"
"I've told you... it was just a moment of thoughts which i got carried away with..." Robbie holds his hand into my direction, quietening me down.
"Please...please let me finish..." He takes a deep breath, before continuing. "...Like you said 'it was just a moment thing', but we can't take chances. We can't be scared of leaving you alone every time... we do enough of that worry over Ellie..."
"And your point is...?" Tears begin to feel my eyes, as the muscles in my throat tighten.
"Our point is...we want to help you...and...and well the only way we can actually help you...is if...we send you to...erm...a Suicide rehab clinic..." Tension fills the room, which almost suffocates me. They're sending me to a suicide clinic?
For the first time, Gary doesn't have words pouring out from his mouth, instead he just stands holding onto the door avoiding eye contact with me. "...Well...can i come in? So we can discuss this?"
"I don't think i have a choice... do i...? You're not going to leave..."
Rising my eyebrows i nod my head slightly. "Blimey... after all these years you're finally starting to know what i'm like..."
Gary fiddles with the lock on the door, once unlocked he stands aside allowing me entry. In front of me stands a middle aged man, dressed in a plain white t shirt and blue striped shorts, and with no surprise he's lost weight since the last time i saw him. "I'll put the kettle on..." He guides me to the living room, before disappearing into the kitchen. With Gary out of sight, it gives me time to have a quick nose around. It's obvious that he's taken a few photographs down, noticing the nails in the wall with nothing hanging off them. Sliding my hand along the fireplace i come across a framed photograph, of the band from last year during rehearsals. Me, Jay, Howard, Gary and M-... It appears that the space beside Gary doesn't contain another person, but I'm sure Mark was there that day? Squinting my eyes carefully at the photo, i notice an arm wrapped around Gary's waist. Looking at the rest of our hands it's clear that it doesn't belong to any of the three of us, as our hands are visible and nowhere near Gary's waist. He's cut Mark off? "Looking for something?" A voice speaks, almost causing me to drop the photo frame.
"E...Erm...n..no was...just looking." Neatly i place it back onto the fireplace, before sitting back down onto the sofa, like a school boy avoiding a telling off for snooping. Gary looks over at the photograph whilst handing me my mug.
"Was thinking about having a change about around here... could do with a clear out...and decorating..."
"Just painting?"
Gary shrugs his shoulders. "Got stuff i need to get rid of first... or maybe just move house and start a fresh, you know?" Even though he doesn't say it, i know exactly what 'stuff' he needs to get rid of.
"Maybe it's not a good idea to make big decisions before the baby is born... he or she is going to need support from both Dad's-"
"No. I can do this..."
Staring shocked at Gary, i carefully place my mug onto the coffee table in front of me. "You're not suggesting that you're going to be a single Dad, right?"
"Maybe... i'm just thinking what's best for my little one."
"Gaz... it's yours and Mark's baby... he needs you right now himself... the baby isn't a toy."
Gary laughs whilst shaking his head. "And what do you know, eh? You're no Dad of the year either, so no offence, but don't dish out advice to me when you can't even follow it yourself." Gritting my teeth by his comment, i try my best to ignore it. For Mark and the baby's sake.
"Right... well...anyway... the reason i came here was to ask for your support... are you willing to help or am i wasting my time here asking?"
"I think you know the answer to that one."
"Gary, he tried to drown himself tonight... doesn't that do anything to you? He's been your friend for the past 20 or so years... you were going to get married to this man... surly you feel something?" A more serious look forms onto Gary's face now, as he breathes in a sharp intake of breath.
"...Well he's not the only one..." Quietly he mumbles, whilst twiddling his thumbs together.
"What do you mean with that?"
"Just saying... he's not the only one... who feels that way about all of this... simplest way out..." Swallowing hard, Gary walks into the kitchen again. For a few seconds of thinking, it finally then hits me. Gary's tried to kill himself too? Jesus.
"Gary... wait." Walking into the kitchen, he stands leaned against the sink with his back to me. "I know how hard this is... i've been in your position... but... that isn't the answer... that's why we're going to get Mark help... for the sake of both of yours child...and your relationship... together you can do this, but you both have to be strong... he needs you mate...more than ever... the only way we can help him, is with you being there...please? I know we're not the best of friends after our colourful history, but he's my best friend and i wouldn't be asking if i wasn't desperate... please come with us to the clinic on Wednesday." The kitchen is filled with silence. Gary still remains in the same position, bowing his head whilst collecting his thoughts. "...Gary?"
Softly he sniffs, whilst wiping his face with the back of his hand. "O...ok..." Slowly he turns round, showing me his reddened face, just like he's been crying...
"Ok?"
Sighing deeply with his eyes closed, already i can tell he's regretting it. "I...I...I'll come..."
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Mark's POV
Loudly the front door closes disturbing me from my sleep. Rubbing my eyes i glance over at my phone for the time- 2:03 am. Who would be coming home at this time of night? Voices mumble downstairs which catches my attention. Very quietly i reach for my crutches which rest at the side of the bed, almost tip toeing i make my way to the top of the stairs. "Did you speak to, Gaz? And i do mean speak, not punch." Instantly, by hearing Gary's name, my heart begins to race in my chest.
"Yeah... we had a good chat actually..." Robbie's voice sounds slightly muffled. I need to hear this. Sliding down the stairs on my bum with my crutches in one hand, i sit on the bottom step with my head peering around the stair railing, enough for me to see two figures in the kitchen.
"What did he say?"
"...Not much really... resisted at first... but once i got inside we slowly started to talk more. He's lost weight and doesn't look 100% healthy himself. He's even talking about decorating, having a complete house makeover... or he's thinking about moving house..."
Yasmin looks at Robbie surprised. "What?! No he can't! What about the baby?!"
"...Well... that's another thing we discussed... he said the best thing for the baby... is if he's the one to look after it... just him... it's his baby..." It feels like my heart has sunk to the bottom of my chest hearing that. I've really ruined everything now.
"Oh gosh... poor Mark..."
Robbie walks over to Yasmin, placing his hand onto her back showing support. "But i told him he couldn't... not without Mark, they all need one another for this family to work, and right now Mark needs his support whilst going to this clinic." Has someone just thrown a brick into my face? Because that's what it feels like! They're sending me to a clinic?! I rarely get angry, but right now i'm fuming! Standing up on my crutches, the best i can, i march into the kitchen. The chatter instantly dies, by the sight of me slamming open the kitchen door.
"Oh...hiya mate... how are you feeling?" Robbie peers up, with his hands still firmly rested on Yasmin's shoulders.
"Don't 'oh hiya mate' me! What's this about a clinic?! I'm not back on the booze before you say."
"Mark, just stay calm... it's not for the booze... it's because we're concerned... we all are..." Sadly Yasmin looks up at me, with a face full of sympathy.
Shaking my head with annoyance, i look at the pair of them. "You don't need to be concerned about me, i'm a grown man i don't need help. If it's not for the booze, then what for? And why did you go to Gary's for? You better not of laid one finger on him Rob, because if you have...believe me you'll regret it!"
"Mark, please...take a seat..." Robbie walks over to one of the spare chairs at the table, pulling it back for me to sit down on. Watching the serious look on his face, for now i decide to do as he says.
"I'm listening...?"
Yasmin looks up at Robbie, giving him a slight nod. "Mark...erm...Me and Yasmin have been talking...and...well... tonight really threw us off guard... the whole bath thing and-"
"I've told you... it was just a moment of thoughts which i got carried away with..." Robbie holds his hand into my direction, quietening me down.
"Please...please let me finish..." He takes a deep breath, before continuing. "...Like you said 'it was just a moment thing', but we can't take chances. We can't be scared of leaving you alone every time... we do enough of that worry over Ellie..."
"And your point is...?" Tears begin to feel my eyes, as the muscles in my throat tighten.
"Our point is...we want to help you...and...and well the only way we can actually help you...is if...we send you to...erm...a Suicide rehab clinic..." Tension fills the room, which almost suffocates me. They're sending me to a suicide clinic?
Saturday, 18 January 2014
Chapter 31
Robbie's POV
Leaving Yasmin stunned in the kitchen i flee to the direction of the hallway calling out Mark's name. "Mark? Mate are you ok?" A wash of panic fills my body, by not hearing his voice. "Mark?!" Thoughts enter my mind, as i run up the stairs, almost falling over myself once i slam open the bathroom door. It's empty. The only thing which can be seen is the over used amount of bubbles spilling over the edge of the bath. "Mark?! Where are you?" Squinting my eyes around the bathroom something catches my eye. Something i was dreading. Without giving it another seconds thought i dive my arms into the water, splashing half of it out onto the floor pretty much soaking my body. "MARK!" I yell reaching for the body which is laying under the water. Unconscious. Pulling his head from under the water his eyes remain closed and his breathing is inaudible. "MARK! MARK SPEAK TO ME??!" Loudly i shout whilst hitting him ontp the back with my palm. Shaking his lifeless body i hit even harder in the middle of his back, this time with my fist causing him to gasp for breath. "Mark!" Instantly Mark's eyes widen, as he chokes on the water which splutters out from his mouth. "Mark are you ok?!" I look into the pale skinned, frightened man's face. Throwing his face against my chest he wraps his arms tightly around me, before bursting into tears. "Hey... shush... Mark...i'm here..." The whole of Mark's body begins to tremble, as he has a complete break down. At the moment my mind is fuzzy... i've just seen Mark almost die...in my house...now he's pouring his heart out. This can't go on any longer... a decision for his future has to be made, and as a caring friend i'm willing to help him.
"I...I...I'm..s..s...so..sorry..." Crying in my arms he still remains naked in the bath looking frail.
Taking a deep breath still feeling scared to death seeing what i've just seen i tenderly stroke his damp back. "I..It's ok... everything's going to be ok... i promise you... i promise you, mate..." I sigh against his shoulder, squeezing my eyes together, i come to an important decision.
Walking downstairs with a head full of thoughts, i walk back into the kitchen to find a worried Yasmin sitting at the table. "How is he now...?"
Shrugging my shoulders i take an empty chair opposite her. "Asleep..."
"Can't believe he tried to drown himself... i've been such a bitch towards him... i've never seen anyone in such a breakdown state like that before... scared the living day lights out of me..." Bowing her head down in shame over her previous actions, she can't help but feel partly guilty.
"Yaz... listen... this isn't your fault, ok? Mark's thoughts took over and led him to take such drastic actions... thankfully he didn't do anything too drastic otherwise we could of been too late."
"I know... i know... i'd rather not think about that..."
"I've been thinking... well... i've actually been thinking of it ever since they broke up..."
"Go on..?" Lifting her head, it's almost like she can read my mind what i'm about to say.
Playing with my fingers i take a deep breath before speaking again. "...maybe sending him to a suicide rehab...? I mean... we can't do this... even if it is the pair of us. We can't watch over him 24/7... we've got a daughter to look out for and you're pregnant again... like right now i'm sitting here, and i'm worried about leaving Mark upstairs alone incase he does something to himself again..."
Not saying a word Yasmin glances down at her hands which rest on the table. Slightly she nods her head whilst biting her lip. "As much as i hate the thought of Mark going out of his mind being sent away...it's for the best...right? And we can visit him too?"
"Of course...it'll be up to Mark if he wants to see us... but we can book appointments to visit him... he's going to say it sounds like prison... but once he's in there then at least we have an ease of mind..."
"I guess so... and hopefully when the time is right, he can start to get his life back on track... he has this little one to care for..." Gently she smiles whilst stroking her stomach.
"Exactly babe..." Reaching for my coat i slide it onto my arms. For the first time since my affair, me and Yasmin have had a proper grown up conversation without yelling at one another. Her eyes lighten up, watching me put my coat on, before heading towards the front door.
"Where...where are you going? It's 20 to midnight...?"
"Going to see Gary."
Yasmin takes a few steps back, as her jaw drops slightly by my words. "G...Gary? As in...Gary Barlow...?" Nodding my head i reach for my mobile in my back pocket, ready to call for a taxi. "Are you mental?! I thought things were about to get back on track with..." Looking up the stairs she lowers her voice. "....Mark going to the rehab...? You can't cause more drama...especially not between the pair of them."
"Yaz...i'm not going to cause more drama...i'm just going for a chat with him...nothing else."
"Yeah, and we know what your chats are...involving fists."
"Honest... it wont be like that... i'm doing this for Mark... i care about his feelings almost as much as i care about yours... i know this is upsetting you seeing Gary upset... so if i tell him about sending Mark... for a quiet 'holiday' and hopefully he'll book a few days to see him..." After a few minutes of thinking Yasmin finally agrees. "Right...ok... but you have to promise me that there will be no fighting otherwise you're out...and i mean it..."
"I promise you..." Using the back of my hand i brush her cheek slightly.
--------------------------------------------------
After paying the taxi driver my fare, i'm left standing outside Gary's house. Part of me is still after tearing his head off for beating Mark up, but after seeing Mark almost die earlier calms my thoughts down. Taking a deep breath i head towards his front door, where i notice that a shadow through the curtains is resting on the sofa. Clenching my teeth together i work up enough courage to knock on the front door. Within a few minutes, i hear the door chain slide onto the lock before the door slowly opens. "Hello...?" Gary peers his face around the crack of the door, almost instant he notices who i am, as he quickly tries to close the door which i wedge my foot in. "Rob...more your foot! Leave me alone!" Slamming the door against my foot a few times, i push my palms against the handle and glass.
"I'm not after any trouble... i just want to talk to you."
Sarcastically he laughs holding onto the handle with the chain which still remains left on. "Sure... i bet you've been dying to come over here after what i did to him... i only did that to show what he did to me inside." Biting my lip, already he makes my blood boil by referring to Mark just as a 'he' as if he doesn't know him.
"Listen... i just want to talk... there's somethings which me and Yasmin have been discussing... and we want you to be involved with...Mark needs you..."
"Right... he needs me. What exactly does he want me for? A quickie, eh?"
"Oh you're just asking for it now, aren't you?" Shaking my head i squeeze my fists together, getting even more annoyed by the second being in his presence.
"Thought you didn't want to involve your fists into this?" Still peering through the crack of the door, Gary glances down at my clenched fists. He's lucky that there's a door in the middle of us. "You can go back and tell your best mate that i do not... i repeat not want anything to do with that pathetic, lying, cheating, scumbag of a man... do you understand me? Or am i not speaking Eng-"
"He almost killed himself tonight!" Yelling loudly my breathing increases, and i feel my heart skip a beat or two. Gary's eyes widen at me by what i've just said, and a hint of sadness fills his face. "...He was taking a bath...and within 10 minutes... i found him under the water... that's why me and Yasmin have been talking... and we want you to know what we've decided...he can't do it without you..."
Leaving Yasmin stunned in the kitchen i flee to the direction of the hallway calling out Mark's name. "Mark? Mate are you ok?" A wash of panic fills my body, by not hearing his voice. "Mark?!" Thoughts enter my mind, as i run up the stairs, almost falling over myself once i slam open the bathroom door. It's empty. The only thing which can be seen is the over used amount of bubbles spilling over the edge of the bath. "Mark?! Where are you?" Squinting my eyes around the bathroom something catches my eye. Something i was dreading. Without giving it another seconds thought i dive my arms into the water, splashing half of it out onto the floor pretty much soaking my body. "MARK!" I yell reaching for the body which is laying under the water. Unconscious. Pulling his head from under the water his eyes remain closed and his breathing is inaudible. "MARK! MARK SPEAK TO ME??!" Loudly i shout whilst hitting him ontp the back with my palm. Shaking his lifeless body i hit even harder in the middle of his back, this time with my fist causing him to gasp for breath. "Mark!" Instantly Mark's eyes widen, as he chokes on the water which splutters out from his mouth. "Mark are you ok?!" I look into the pale skinned, frightened man's face. Throwing his face against my chest he wraps his arms tightly around me, before bursting into tears. "Hey... shush... Mark...i'm here..." The whole of Mark's body begins to tremble, as he has a complete break down. At the moment my mind is fuzzy... i've just seen Mark almost die...in my house...now he's pouring his heart out. This can't go on any longer... a decision for his future has to be made, and as a caring friend i'm willing to help him.
"I...I...I'm..s..s...so..sorry..." Crying in my arms he still remains naked in the bath looking frail.
Taking a deep breath still feeling scared to death seeing what i've just seen i tenderly stroke his damp back. "I..It's ok... everything's going to be ok... i promise you... i promise you, mate..." I sigh against his shoulder, squeezing my eyes together, i come to an important decision.
Walking downstairs with a head full of thoughts, i walk back into the kitchen to find a worried Yasmin sitting at the table. "How is he now...?"
Shrugging my shoulders i take an empty chair opposite her. "Asleep..."
"Can't believe he tried to drown himself... i've been such a bitch towards him... i've never seen anyone in such a breakdown state like that before... scared the living day lights out of me..." Bowing her head down in shame over her previous actions, she can't help but feel partly guilty.
"Yaz... listen... this isn't your fault, ok? Mark's thoughts took over and led him to take such drastic actions... thankfully he didn't do anything too drastic otherwise we could of been too late."
"I know... i know... i'd rather not think about that..."
"I've been thinking... well... i've actually been thinking of it ever since they broke up..."
"Go on..?" Lifting her head, it's almost like she can read my mind what i'm about to say.
Playing with my fingers i take a deep breath before speaking again. "...maybe sending him to a suicide rehab...? I mean... we can't do this... even if it is the pair of us. We can't watch over him 24/7... we've got a daughter to look out for and you're pregnant again... like right now i'm sitting here, and i'm worried about leaving Mark upstairs alone incase he does something to himself again..."
Not saying a word Yasmin glances down at her hands which rest on the table. Slightly she nods her head whilst biting her lip. "As much as i hate the thought of Mark going out of his mind being sent away...it's for the best...right? And we can visit him too?"
"Of course...it'll be up to Mark if he wants to see us... but we can book appointments to visit him... he's going to say it sounds like prison... but once he's in there then at least we have an ease of mind..."
"I guess so... and hopefully when the time is right, he can start to get his life back on track... he has this little one to care for..." Gently she smiles whilst stroking her stomach.
"Exactly babe..." Reaching for my coat i slide it onto my arms. For the first time since my affair, me and Yasmin have had a proper grown up conversation without yelling at one another. Her eyes lighten up, watching me put my coat on, before heading towards the front door.
"Where...where are you going? It's 20 to midnight...?"
"Going to see Gary."
Yasmin takes a few steps back, as her jaw drops slightly by my words. "G...Gary? As in...Gary Barlow...?" Nodding my head i reach for my mobile in my back pocket, ready to call for a taxi. "Are you mental?! I thought things were about to get back on track with..." Looking up the stairs she lowers her voice. "....Mark going to the rehab...? You can't cause more drama...especially not between the pair of them."
"Yaz...i'm not going to cause more drama...i'm just going for a chat with him...nothing else."
"Yeah, and we know what your chats are...involving fists."
"Honest... it wont be like that... i'm doing this for Mark... i care about his feelings almost as much as i care about yours... i know this is upsetting you seeing Gary upset... so if i tell him about sending Mark... for a quiet 'holiday' and hopefully he'll book a few days to see him..." After a few minutes of thinking Yasmin finally agrees. "Right...ok... but you have to promise me that there will be no fighting otherwise you're out...and i mean it..."
"I promise you..." Using the back of my hand i brush her cheek slightly.
--------------------------------------------------
After paying the taxi driver my fare, i'm left standing outside Gary's house. Part of me is still after tearing his head off for beating Mark up, but after seeing Mark almost die earlier calms my thoughts down. Taking a deep breath i head towards his front door, where i notice that a shadow through the curtains is resting on the sofa. Clenching my teeth together i work up enough courage to knock on the front door. Within a few minutes, i hear the door chain slide onto the lock before the door slowly opens. "Hello...?" Gary peers his face around the crack of the door, almost instant he notices who i am, as he quickly tries to close the door which i wedge my foot in. "Rob...more your foot! Leave me alone!" Slamming the door against my foot a few times, i push my palms against the handle and glass.
"I'm not after any trouble... i just want to talk to you."
Sarcastically he laughs holding onto the handle with the chain which still remains left on. "Sure... i bet you've been dying to come over here after what i did to him... i only did that to show what he did to me inside." Biting my lip, already he makes my blood boil by referring to Mark just as a 'he' as if he doesn't know him.
"Listen... i just want to talk... there's somethings which me and Yasmin have been discussing... and we want you to be involved with...Mark needs you..."
"Right... he needs me. What exactly does he want me for? A quickie, eh?"
"Oh you're just asking for it now, aren't you?" Shaking my head i squeeze my fists together, getting even more annoyed by the second being in his presence.
"Thought you didn't want to involve your fists into this?" Still peering through the crack of the door, Gary glances down at my clenched fists. He's lucky that there's a door in the middle of us. "You can go back and tell your best mate that i do not... i repeat not want anything to do with that pathetic, lying, cheating, scumbag of a man... do you understand me? Or am i not speaking Eng-"
"He almost killed himself tonight!" Yelling loudly my breathing increases, and i feel my heart skip a beat or two. Gary's eyes widen at me by what i've just said, and a hint of sadness fills his face. "...He was taking a bath...and within 10 minutes... i found him under the water... that's why me and Yasmin have been talking... and we want you to know what we've decided...he can't do it without you..."
Tuesday, 14 January 2014
Chapter 30
{After a couple of days in hospital Mark is finally discharged. With two broken ribs and a fuzzy head he's been advised to rest up for the next week or so. Yasmin has allowed him to stay at the Williams' household, but on one condition- Robbie is the one to look after him seeing as she doesn't want anything to do with Mark...not for a while anyway. For now Mark has taken to Eleanor's single bed whilst Robbie has the floor of the bedroom.}
Mark's POV
"Mark, what do you want to eat mate?" Robbie calls from the kitchen. It feels strange being in someone else's house whilst laying on their sofa as if it's my own. I haven't been back to mine and Gary's since the night i left, and the night i left was when part of me died. "Mark?" Robbie appears at the living room door frame peering his head around the partly open door. "What do you want cooking?"
"Oh...i'm ok... not really hungry."
"Come on...my cooking isn't that bad, right? How about something light...a sandwich?"
"Rob...honestly... eating is the last thing on my mind."
Brushing off a small smile followed by a worried look he perches onto the arm of the sofa, which i'm resting on. "You'll get worse... i'm worried about you Mark...whatever has happened... you wont loose me as a friend."
"I don't deserve you as a friend... i don't deserve anyone... Gary, you, our baby, Yasmin... non of you... i'm never going to forgive myself... and before you think it, i'm not feeling sorry for myself...i don't do that..." Gently Robbie shakes his head patting my bare kneecap.
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Mark... you can't change the past, but you can change the future...just remember that." Leaving me with the though, Robbie stands up heading towards the door again. "I'm going to run you a bath, then i'm going to cook you something to eat so you can have your tablets." In a friendly way he smiles at me before leaving the room to run my bath.
My entire body aches, but mainly my heart. For the rest of my living days i'm going to question myself with 'why on earth did i ever sleep with her?!'. Carefully i sit up on the sofa which pretty much drains most of my energy. "Ow..." Quietly i wince whilst reaching for my crutches which lay on the coffee table in front of me. It pains me being away from Gary, we need to talk face to face to sort this all out... sorry will never cover it, but it will be a start... we have to sort this before our baby is born. Glancing around the living room something catches my eye- maybe the start of fixing our future? My breathing increases as i struggle over to the fireplace noticing Yasmin's mobile. She must of left it behind when leaving to go shopping with Eleanor. Hearing the water running in the bath upstairs i slide open the lock on the phone which brings up the menu. Instantly i click on the contact icon, before scrolling through the list of names until i reach what i'm looking for. The name sticks out to me like a sore thumb. Gaz Barlow. Pressing my eyes together i'm in two minds whether to press call or not. After a couple minutes of thinking it strikes me that this could be the only opportunity i have to call him, seeing as there's no chance he's going to accept my calls. Nervously i press call which starts to ring on loudspeaker.
It rings at least three or four times until a rustling sound appears on the other end of the phone. "...H...Hello...Yaz?" It sounds like Gary's taking the garbage out judging by the amount of noise he's making with the bags, maybe it's my belongings he's throwing away. "Yasmin? You there?" It feels like my heart has literally stopped beating by the sound of Gary's voice- the voice i haven't heard in a few days, which i use to hear 24 hours a day. Tears prick in my eyes feeling the coldness of one which manages to escape rolling down my cheek. "...Has Ellie stolen your phone again?" Gary laughs quietly slamming down the metal bin lid. "I'll give you a call back later i'm a bit busy at the moment-"
"G...G...Gary...w..wa..wait." The words tumble out of my mouth uncontrollable from panic. Silence fills the other end of the phone.
"Who is this?" A serious voice speaks now which causes my hands to shake.
"P...please...please...we...we...need...to talk...Gary i-" The phone goes dead. He's ended the call. "Hello?? Gary?! Gary no! Please...please...don't go...Gary..." Unable to hold them back any longer, the tears come flooding out of my eyes.
"Mark?!" Angrily someone shouts behind me. Quickly wiping the tears from my eyes with my sleeve i steadily turn around to find Yasmin standing at the door. Eleanor is sound asleep in her pushchair whilst anger fills Yasmin face, she's almost turning red with rage, as her eyes latch onto her phone which is gripped in my palm. "Was that Gary? Did you just call Gary?!"
"I...I...Y...yes... we need to talk...please understand..." The aches fill my legs now from standing up too long. I shouldn't even be moving fully by myself yet, never mind standing unattended.
"No! What you need is to leave Gary alone!" Walking over to me, she snatches her phone out of my hand. "And do you understand how heartbroken he is over what you have done?! He might be putting on a brave face, but it's easy to see through. It's killing him inside. He doesn't even seem like the same person anymore ,and that scares the life out of me knowing what he could be capable of doing whilst being alone. If anything...and i mean anything happens to him... You will be the entire blame for it...just leave us all alone."
-------------------------------------------------------
Robbie's POV
Once i've carefully helped Mark into the warm soapy bath, i sit at the side of it. "Now... is there anything you need... a drink? More bubbles?" You can barely see Mark through the amount of bubble bath i've put in for him. Not saying anything Mark shakes his head. "...Are you ok? You've gone awfully quiet... feeling tired? You look it." Sympathetically i stroke his forehead. There's no temperature so it doesn't seem like he's ill, but then again heartbreak is easy to cover up...trust me, i know...
"Rob...please stop fussing... i just want to be alone... to try and relax for a while." Forcing out a smile he strokes my hand causing himself even more pain.
"Ok ok... i know when i'm not wanted." Playfully i wink walking towards the bathroom door. "I'll be back soon you can watch a DVD in bed or something... and tonight i'll promise i won't snore."
"I really do appreciate everything...thank you."
"Anytime buddy...now relax." Exiting the bathroom i leave the door ajar, before skipping downstairs to the smells coming from the kitchen.
Yasmin stands at the cooker stirring a steaming pan whilst humming softly to herself. "Something smells nice." I walk into the kitchen placing my hand onto her shoulder, whilst having a quick nose of what she's cooking.
"Thanks." She shrugs off my hand, as she continues to stir. "...Hope you're both hungry."
"Starving." I pinch a piece of bread which sits on the worktop already buttered.
"How is he?" Still facing away from me she adds some herbs to the pot.
"For some reason... he's being quieter than usual, but i guess it's understandable, you know? It's hard for both of them."
"Yeah..."
Finishing off the slice of bread i notice that Yasmin also is acting different. "Everything ok...?"
"Er...yeah...of course...why wouldn't it be...?" Avoiding eye contact she walks over to the sink where she fills a glass with water. Walking over to her it's pretty obvious that something has happened between her and Mark whilst i was upstairs.
"Because you're acting different... and i know when you're hiding something."
"Shame i didn't know that with you..." Quietly she mumbles hinting at my affair which i mange to act like i didn't hear.
"Yasmin...tell me what happened."
Sighing deeply she turns around with her arms folded. "I caught him on the phone to Gary...my phone..."
"Oh...really? Did you hear what he said? Did Gary speak?"
"I don't know...probably not... but he shouldn't of done it... now is not the time..."
"And i'm guessing you didn't just ask for the phone back...am i right?"
Rolling her eyes she walks back to the cooker turning off the hob. "I just told him a few things...that's all."
"Go on...?" Rising my eyebrow i slouch against the work top studying her guilty looking face. Not answering my question she just shrugs her shoulders. "Yasmin. This is serious..what did you say to him?"
"Just that...he needs to leave Gary alone..."
"And...?"
"...And that...and that... if anything happens to Gary...then he's to blame for the entire thing...especially now Gary's living home alone...anything is possible."
My jaw drops open shocked at her for telling Mark such things. Mark also isn't in the right state of mind, and saying things like that could cause Mark to possibly harm himself too. "Are you kidding me Yasmin?! Gary isn't the only one who is capable of those things... Mark is in the wrong and i know that he wants to be punished by what he did."A worried expression forms on Yasmin's face by my comments. "What...What is it? Has he said something?" Again the room drops into a silent level. Taking grips to her arms i look her in the eyes searching for answers. "Yasmin!"
"W...Where...where is Mark now...?"
"He's upstairs...having a ba-" That's when it hits me, what Yasmin's worrying about. Mark is alone in the bath with the only company of his thoughts.
Mark's POV
"Mark, what do you want to eat mate?" Robbie calls from the kitchen. It feels strange being in someone else's house whilst laying on their sofa as if it's my own. I haven't been back to mine and Gary's since the night i left, and the night i left was when part of me died. "Mark?" Robbie appears at the living room door frame peering his head around the partly open door. "What do you want cooking?"
"Oh...i'm ok... not really hungry."
"Come on...my cooking isn't that bad, right? How about something light...a sandwich?"
"Rob...honestly... eating is the last thing on my mind."
Brushing off a small smile followed by a worried look he perches onto the arm of the sofa, which i'm resting on. "You'll get worse... i'm worried about you Mark...whatever has happened... you wont loose me as a friend."
"I don't deserve you as a friend... i don't deserve anyone... Gary, you, our baby, Yasmin... non of you... i'm never going to forgive myself... and before you think it, i'm not feeling sorry for myself...i don't do that..." Gently Robbie shakes his head patting my bare kneecap.
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Mark... you can't change the past, but you can change the future...just remember that." Leaving me with the though, Robbie stands up heading towards the door again. "I'm going to run you a bath, then i'm going to cook you something to eat so you can have your tablets." In a friendly way he smiles at me before leaving the room to run my bath.
My entire body aches, but mainly my heart. For the rest of my living days i'm going to question myself with 'why on earth did i ever sleep with her?!'. Carefully i sit up on the sofa which pretty much drains most of my energy. "Ow..." Quietly i wince whilst reaching for my crutches which lay on the coffee table in front of me. It pains me being away from Gary, we need to talk face to face to sort this all out... sorry will never cover it, but it will be a start... we have to sort this before our baby is born. Glancing around the living room something catches my eye- maybe the start of fixing our future? My breathing increases as i struggle over to the fireplace noticing Yasmin's mobile. She must of left it behind when leaving to go shopping with Eleanor. Hearing the water running in the bath upstairs i slide open the lock on the phone which brings up the menu. Instantly i click on the contact icon, before scrolling through the list of names until i reach what i'm looking for. The name sticks out to me like a sore thumb. Gaz Barlow. Pressing my eyes together i'm in two minds whether to press call or not. After a couple minutes of thinking it strikes me that this could be the only opportunity i have to call him, seeing as there's no chance he's going to accept my calls. Nervously i press call which starts to ring on loudspeaker.
It rings at least three or four times until a rustling sound appears on the other end of the phone. "...H...Hello...Yaz?" It sounds like Gary's taking the garbage out judging by the amount of noise he's making with the bags, maybe it's my belongings he's throwing away. "Yasmin? You there?" It feels like my heart has literally stopped beating by the sound of Gary's voice- the voice i haven't heard in a few days, which i use to hear 24 hours a day. Tears prick in my eyes feeling the coldness of one which manages to escape rolling down my cheek. "...Has Ellie stolen your phone again?" Gary laughs quietly slamming down the metal bin lid. "I'll give you a call back later i'm a bit busy at the moment-"
"G...G...Gary...w..wa..wait." The words tumble out of my mouth uncontrollable from panic. Silence fills the other end of the phone.
"Who is this?" A serious voice speaks now which causes my hands to shake.
"P...please...please...we...we...need...to talk...Gary i-" The phone goes dead. He's ended the call. "Hello?? Gary?! Gary no! Please...please...don't go...Gary..." Unable to hold them back any longer, the tears come flooding out of my eyes.
"Mark?!" Angrily someone shouts behind me. Quickly wiping the tears from my eyes with my sleeve i steadily turn around to find Yasmin standing at the door. Eleanor is sound asleep in her pushchair whilst anger fills Yasmin face, she's almost turning red with rage, as her eyes latch onto her phone which is gripped in my palm. "Was that Gary? Did you just call Gary?!"
"I...I...Y...yes... we need to talk...please understand..." The aches fill my legs now from standing up too long. I shouldn't even be moving fully by myself yet, never mind standing unattended.
"No! What you need is to leave Gary alone!" Walking over to me, she snatches her phone out of my hand. "And do you understand how heartbroken he is over what you have done?! He might be putting on a brave face, but it's easy to see through. It's killing him inside. He doesn't even seem like the same person anymore ,and that scares the life out of me knowing what he could be capable of doing whilst being alone. If anything...and i mean anything happens to him... You will be the entire blame for it...just leave us all alone."
-------------------------------------------------------
Robbie's POV
Once i've carefully helped Mark into the warm soapy bath, i sit at the side of it. "Now... is there anything you need... a drink? More bubbles?" You can barely see Mark through the amount of bubble bath i've put in for him. Not saying anything Mark shakes his head. "...Are you ok? You've gone awfully quiet... feeling tired? You look it." Sympathetically i stroke his forehead. There's no temperature so it doesn't seem like he's ill, but then again heartbreak is easy to cover up...trust me, i know...
"Rob...please stop fussing... i just want to be alone... to try and relax for a while." Forcing out a smile he strokes my hand causing himself even more pain.
"Ok ok... i know when i'm not wanted." Playfully i wink walking towards the bathroom door. "I'll be back soon you can watch a DVD in bed or something... and tonight i'll promise i won't snore."
"I really do appreciate everything...thank you."
"Anytime buddy...now relax." Exiting the bathroom i leave the door ajar, before skipping downstairs to the smells coming from the kitchen.
Yasmin stands at the cooker stirring a steaming pan whilst humming softly to herself. "Something smells nice." I walk into the kitchen placing my hand onto her shoulder, whilst having a quick nose of what she's cooking.
"Thanks." She shrugs off my hand, as she continues to stir. "...Hope you're both hungry."
"Starving." I pinch a piece of bread which sits on the worktop already buttered.
"How is he?" Still facing away from me she adds some herbs to the pot.
"For some reason... he's being quieter than usual, but i guess it's understandable, you know? It's hard for both of them."
"Yeah..."
Finishing off the slice of bread i notice that Yasmin also is acting different. "Everything ok...?"
"Er...yeah...of course...why wouldn't it be...?" Avoiding eye contact she walks over to the sink where she fills a glass with water. Walking over to her it's pretty obvious that something has happened between her and Mark whilst i was upstairs.
"Because you're acting different... and i know when you're hiding something."
"Shame i didn't know that with you..." Quietly she mumbles hinting at my affair which i mange to act like i didn't hear.
"Yasmin...tell me what happened."
Sighing deeply she turns around with her arms folded. "I caught him on the phone to Gary...my phone..."
"Oh...really? Did you hear what he said? Did Gary speak?"
"I don't know...probably not... but he shouldn't of done it... now is not the time..."
"And i'm guessing you didn't just ask for the phone back...am i right?"
Rolling her eyes she walks back to the cooker turning off the hob. "I just told him a few things...that's all."
"Go on...?" Rising my eyebrow i slouch against the work top studying her guilty looking face. Not answering my question she just shrugs her shoulders. "Yasmin. This is serious..what did you say to him?"
"Just that...he needs to leave Gary alone..."
"And...?"
"...And that...and that... if anything happens to Gary...then he's to blame for the entire thing...especially now Gary's living home alone...anything is possible."
My jaw drops open shocked at her for telling Mark such things. Mark also isn't in the right state of mind, and saying things like that could cause Mark to possibly harm himself too. "Are you kidding me Yasmin?! Gary isn't the only one who is capable of those things... Mark is in the wrong and i know that he wants to be punished by what he did."A worried expression forms on Yasmin's face by my comments. "What...What is it? Has he said something?" Again the room drops into a silent level. Taking grips to her arms i look her in the eyes searching for answers. "Yasmin!"
"W...Where...where is Mark now...?"
"He's upstairs...having a ba-" That's when it hits me, what Yasmin's worrying about. Mark is alone in the bath with the only company of his thoughts.
Friday, 3 January 2014
Chapter 29
Mark's POV
"N...no...no...G...G..Gary...Gary....Gary come...come back...Gary..." Running down a dark alley i reach a dead end. How is that possible? Gary just ran down here? "Gary....G...Gary? Baby...where are you? It's....it's cold out here?" My legs start to ache from the amount of running i've been doing chasing Gary. Slowly my back slides down the brick wall and i begin to shiver from the icy air which swirls around my half covered body. I didn't even have time to get dressed, so now i'm sat down an alley wearing my pj's.
"Mark? Mark is that you?" A voice calls at the lighter end of the alley. The figure is about Gary's height very slowly he starts to get closer.
"GARY?!" Lifting my head whilst remaining curled on the floor i shout his name causing my voice to echo down the dark atmosphere. All of a sudden the shadow breaks into two figures. Blinking my eyes a few times i get a shiver along my spine. "G...G...Gary?"
"Get him!" They call running towards me at full speed not even giving me time to open my mouth. Hands grab my limbs then a sharp pain hits against my ribs. "G.....GARY!!" I scream out in pain.
"Mark! Mark wake up!" It feels like someone's pushed me in water where i can't breathe. Gasping for breath i grip to my chest trying to pry open my eye lids with force. "Nurse!!" Loudly someone yells which is followed by footsteps. My pupils roll to the back of my head and my hand clenches to my shirt until something is placed over my mouth. Oxygen enters my mouth which finally helps me to breathe again. Feeling exhausted i let go of my chest still with my eyes closed weakly, i begin to breathe slowly.
"Mr Owen? Can you hear me?" A light shines in each one of my eyes whilst my eyelids are stretched back.
"G...G...Gary..." I mutter still feeling half asleep, but there's no dark alley or the cold wind around.
"Can you tell me how many fingers i'm holding up?" Flickering my tired eyes i stare at the blurred greyish blob in front of me it takes a few seconds for my eyes to focus.
"Erm...t...two..." I stare at the fingers placed in front of me. The tall young male makes a few notes onto a clipboard. "W...where....where's...G...Gary...?"
"Mark? How're you feeling mate?" A hand runs through my hair catching my attention.
Turning my head carefully to the right i notice Robbie standing beside me with a face full of worry. "R...R...Rob...? W...Where...am...i?" Starting to panic a little i try to sit up in the bed. "Ouuuuchhh!" I call out feeling a stabbing pain in my ribs.
"Easy, Mark..." He lays me back down moving my pillows up, so i can sit up a little whilst being comfortable in bed. "Do you remember what happened? You're in the hospital now..." My mind casts back to what Laura told me and Gary, then when Gary lashed out at me...which i deserved. Tears build in my eyes it feels like i've lost my voice thinking about it all over again. "...You had to have 3 stitches in your cheek and two of your ribs are broken... you've been asleep for the past 2 days... i've been so worried about you Mark... when you turned up at the house... i just... i've never been so scared before... we thought we were going to lose you..."
"Has Gary...visited?" Looking at him with hope in my eyes it soon gets crushed seeing Robbie shake his head.
"Yasmin she went to see him when i brought you here... she'll be over soon..." Closing my eyes again a single tear rolls down my cheek. No matter how much i'm in pain and Gary being the reason why i'm feeling this way, there's only one way to make me feel better right now- being cradled in Gary's arms.
----------------------------------
A knock on the door disturbs me from my sleep. Snapping my eyes open i look to the direction of the door. "Gar-" In walks Yasmin with a small bag tucked under her left arm. Sighing softly i rest my head back down onto the pillows.
"Oh...you're awake, are you?" Closing the door a little harder than what she intends to do it causes me to wince feeling a slight headache coming along.
"Yaz?!" Robbie frowns his eyebrows at her shaking his head. "...Now is not the time. Let him get some rest." What i wouldn't give to be invisible right now.
"Rest? You mean whilst he can get cosy in a hospital bed letting the 'love of his life' slowly fade away at home?"
"H...How...How is he?"
Yasmin turns to my direction resting her hand against her hip like a mother who's about to tell their child off. "How is he?! How do you think he is?! He's heartbroken, he's going out of his mind...he's...he's losing himself...and it frightens the living day lights out of me what he could possibly be doing whilst we're sat around here spoon feeding you. Well i'm sorry Mark what you've done to Gary you won't be getting my sympathy that's for sure."
Hearing Yasmin's words let me believe the worst. Surly he wouldn't do anything stupid...right? "I've...I've got to go and see him...now!" Forgetting what Robbie told me about sitting up too quickly, the pain soon reminds me. "ARRRGHHH!"
"Mark! You have to be careful! And i'm sure Gary can look after himself...he's a strong man."
"You men are all the same... to be honest... Gary and the baby will be better without you... you can go off with that bitch and your child... just leave Gary's family alone, ok?" She stands above me stroking her stomach.
"N...N...No...you...you can't do that..."
"Woah...Yaz that's a bit uncalled for... don't you think he's going through enough?"
"You're not fit enough to call yourself this baby's father..." She walks to the direction of the door. I can't lose Gary and our child.
"Yasmin! Please! Please don't do this!" Crying out in pain i hit my ribs against the bed railing trying to get out of bed after her. She doesn't reply instead she just walks out of the door without looking back. The pain gets too much sickness swirls in my stomach until i feel myself falling, the room slowly starts to get dark.
"N...no...no...G...G..Gary...Gary....Gary come...come back...Gary..." Running down a dark alley i reach a dead end. How is that possible? Gary just ran down here? "Gary....G...Gary? Baby...where are you? It's....it's cold out here?" My legs start to ache from the amount of running i've been doing chasing Gary. Slowly my back slides down the brick wall and i begin to shiver from the icy air which swirls around my half covered body. I didn't even have time to get dressed, so now i'm sat down an alley wearing my pj's.
"Mark? Mark is that you?" A voice calls at the lighter end of the alley. The figure is about Gary's height very slowly he starts to get closer.
"GARY?!" Lifting my head whilst remaining curled on the floor i shout his name causing my voice to echo down the dark atmosphere. All of a sudden the shadow breaks into two figures. Blinking my eyes a few times i get a shiver along my spine. "G...G...Gary?"
"Get him!" They call running towards me at full speed not even giving me time to open my mouth. Hands grab my limbs then a sharp pain hits against my ribs. "G.....GARY!!" I scream out in pain.
"Mark! Mark wake up!" It feels like someone's pushed me in water where i can't breathe. Gasping for breath i grip to my chest trying to pry open my eye lids with force. "Nurse!!" Loudly someone yells which is followed by footsteps. My pupils roll to the back of my head and my hand clenches to my shirt until something is placed over my mouth. Oxygen enters my mouth which finally helps me to breathe again. Feeling exhausted i let go of my chest still with my eyes closed weakly, i begin to breathe slowly.
"Mr Owen? Can you hear me?" A light shines in each one of my eyes whilst my eyelids are stretched back.
"G...G...Gary..." I mutter still feeling half asleep, but there's no dark alley or the cold wind around.
"Can you tell me how many fingers i'm holding up?" Flickering my tired eyes i stare at the blurred greyish blob in front of me it takes a few seconds for my eyes to focus.
"Erm...t...two..." I stare at the fingers placed in front of me. The tall young male makes a few notes onto a clipboard. "W...where....where's...G...Gary...?"
"Mark? How're you feeling mate?" A hand runs through my hair catching my attention.
Turning my head carefully to the right i notice Robbie standing beside me with a face full of worry. "R...R...Rob...? W...Where...am...i?" Starting to panic a little i try to sit up in the bed. "Ouuuuchhh!" I call out feeling a stabbing pain in my ribs.
"Easy, Mark..." He lays me back down moving my pillows up, so i can sit up a little whilst being comfortable in bed. "Do you remember what happened? You're in the hospital now..." My mind casts back to what Laura told me and Gary, then when Gary lashed out at me...which i deserved. Tears build in my eyes it feels like i've lost my voice thinking about it all over again. "...You had to have 3 stitches in your cheek and two of your ribs are broken... you've been asleep for the past 2 days... i've been so worried about you Mark... when you turned up at the house... i just... i've never been so scared before... we thought we were going to lose you..."
"Has Gary...visited?" Looking at him with hope in my eyes it soon gets crushed seeing Robbie shake his head.
"Yasmin she went to see him when i brought you here... she'll be over soon..." Closing my eyes again a single tear rolls down my cheek. No matter how much i'm in pain and Gary being the reason why i'm feeling this way, there's only one way to make me feel better right now- being cradled in Gary's arms.
----------------------------------
A knock on the door disturbs me from my sleep. Snapping my eyes open i look to the direction of the door. "Gar-" In walks Yasmin with a small bag tucked under her left arm. Sighing softly i rest my head back down onto the pillows.
"Oh...you're awake, are you?" Closing the door a little harder than what she intends to do it causes me to wince feeling a slight headache coming along.
"Yaz?!" Robbie frowns his eyebrows at her shaking his head. "...Now is not the time. Let him get some rest." What i wouldn't give to be invisible right now.
"Rest? You mean whilst he can get cosy in a hospital bed letting the 'love of his life' slowly fade away at home?"
"H...How...How is he?"
Yasmin turns to my direction resting her hand against her hip like a mother who's about to tell their child off. "How is he?! How do you think he is?! He's heartbroken, he's going out of his mind...he's...he's losing himself...and it frightens the living day lights out of me what he could possibly be doing whilst we're sat around here spoon feeding you. Well i'm sorry Mark what you've done to Gary you won't be getting my sympathy that's for sure."
Hearing Yasmin's words let me believe the worst. Surly he wouldn't do anything stupid...right? "I've...I've got to go and see him...now!" Forgetting what Robbie told me about sitting up too quickly, the pain soon reminds me. "ARRRGHHH!"
"Mark! You have to be careful! And i'm sure Gary can look after himself...he's a strong man."
"You men are all the same... to be honest... Gary and the baby will be better without you... you can go off with that bitch and your child... just leave Gary's family alone, ok?" She stands above me stroking her stomach.
"N...N...No...you...you can't do that..."
"Woah...Yaz that's a bit uncalled for... don't you think he's going through enough?"
"You're not fit enough to call yourself this baby's father..." She walks to the direction of the door. I can't lose Gary and our child.
"Yasmin! Please! Please don't do this!" Crying out in pain i hit my ribs against the bed railing trying to get out of bed after her. She doesn't reply instead she just walks out of the door without looking back. The pain gets too much sickness swirls in my stomach until i feel myself falling, the room slowly starts to get dark.
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